Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Yo, what is happening, guys? Nathan back once again with another episode of the Unplugged Freedom podcast. And in today's episode, I wanted to share a little about my. The story of my hair. Now, there's. It's an interesting story, and you might kind of wonder, like, why would you share about your hair? Well, the thing is that there's a lot to it. In order for me to get to where I am with my hair. For example, I've been growing my hair, and it's the longest that it has been since I was in grade four, probably about 10 years old. So we're talking about 25 years.
[00:00:34] And in order for me to get to this point, I had to overcome a lot. And you're going to hear about that. And it's, It's. It's a story about growth, maybe inspiration, you might get inspired by it, but, you know, definitely about growth, you know, changing and becoming. Becoming a newer version of yourself. And if you know anything about me, that's one thing that I always try to strive to, to do and be and go after is I don't want to. I don't want to look at a photo from a year ago and be looking at the same person. I want to look at a photo from a year ago and think to myself, who is that person? And it. Just thinking about how.
[00:01:19] How long ago that may seem, and it may only be a year. So let's get to it. There's a lot to this, and I'm sure that you'll. You can get something about from it. And so there's a lot to it. So where do we even begin? So where we begin is at what I. What I am, my nationality. I am half Hispanic and half Native American.
[00:01:45] I don't even know what you call us nowadays. Native American. I. Native Canadian, First Nations, Aboriginal, Indians. Okay.
[00:01:54] I think first nations is the most politically correct term at the moment. We've kind of gone through the. All the ones that are not. You can't necessarily call somebody Indian. And Indian is even. It's even wrong.
[00:02:09] It was like Columbus came to North America, thought he was in India, seen Native Americans, and he's like, those are Indians. These are Indians. And then even after he knew that he was wrong, he still continued to call him Indians. And even to this day, like, if you meet an American or a Canadian and you are talking about Indians, people are like, oh, what do you mean? Like, do you mean like, like native Indians, or do you mean like Indians Indians? And you're like, well, there's there's only one type of Indian, and that's people from India.
[00:02:41] Like, it's only the.
[00:02:43] The. What would you even call that? The ignorant. Know. Ignorant North Americans who. Who still have that mindset. There's only one type of Indian, and it comes. They come out of India. Okay. Canadians come out of Canada. Indians come out of India.
[00:02:57] So then there's also Aboriginal. I always hated that one when I was growing up. Aboriginal is like, you might as well call me abnormal, which I am definitely different. But still, to.
[00:03:08] To just blanket everybody as abnormal, that's. I don't know, it's pretty rude. So.
[00:03:13] Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, I'm. I'm part Hispanic. That's from my dad's side. I don't necessarily know that side, just because I didn't grow up with my biological dad, and I. I don't even know if I've. I ever met him or what. My biological mom, only thing she ever said was that he was some spic from Toronto, and that was pretty much all the information I got out of. Out of her about him. So I don't know a whole lot. The funny thing is, is that people who are Hispanic and they find out that I do have that within me, a lot of times, they can see it, but if they do ask about it, they're. They might even ask me like, oh, do you. Do you speak Spanish? And I'm like, no, I don't. They're like, oh, well, you're not Hispanic. Like, no. Like, I am. Just because I don't speak Spanish, like, doesn't override my biology. And so. But I've run into that so many times where they're like, do you speak Spanish? I'm like, no. And they're like, no, you're not Hispanic. Why would you even say that you are? I'm like. Because it's like my DNA says that I am. I don't know.
[00:04:15] So I think it's quite hilarious on that aspect. Now, I'm. I'm an interesting mix because nobody really knows what I am. I had. When I was traveling in Nepal, I.
[00:04:28] It was always my favorite because Nepalese people, they're kind of smaller. There's smaller Asian people, and they would see me come in. So I. Apparently, I look Nepalese, but the thing is that I'm bigger, you know, I'm much more broad, tall, taller. So what would always happen. I spent six weeks in Nepal, and these people, you could kind of see them, like, looking at me from afar, and you could. They just had this look in their eyes of like, who is this guy? And they would just see me, you know, I look Nepalese, apparently, but I'm bigger than they probably thought. I was, like, juiced up on roids or something. And then they would see my clothes, right? They're probably thinking in their head, like, look at this guy with his fancy shoes, his fancy clothes. Who does he think he is? And then all of a sudden, I would speak, and they would hear English come out of my mouth, and that's when their eyes would just open up and they would. They would just be in awe. And. Three little words that I heard so many times when I was in Nepal. Where you from? That's what I always heard. Where are you from? And people were always so curious because apparently I looked it. I dressed differently. I was bigger. And then all of a sudden, I had this English accent, and they just. It just blew their mind. So apparently I looked Nepalese. I also spent two years in Bali. Two years in Bali. Everywhere I went, everybody spoke to me in Balinese. Everybody. And I'd be like, no, no, no, no, English. English, like, oh, so sorry. So sorry. You. Your face is so. So Indonesian. And I'm like, yeah, apparently that's. That's what they tell me. And so apparently I look Nepalese. I look Balinese. Just the other day at work, I met a. I met this new guy. He was training with me, and so I'm kind of talking to him, whatever. And at the start of our shift, and he's kind of looking at me, and he's like, are you? And it's kind of funny because he's kind of, like, hesitant about it. He's like, are you. Are you Filipino?
[00:06:21] Because he's Filipino, right?
[00:06:23] I just start to laugh because I think it's so funny that I'm. I'm just. Everybody thinks I'm something, you know? And so.
[00:06:31] So I just kind of laugh. I'm like, no, I'm not Filipino. I'm like, I don't know what I am. I'm from Mars. So.
[00:06:38] So it's pretty funny.
[00:06:40] Hispanic people, a lot of times, they can see me, and they can see that half, but they don't know what the other half is, or it's vice versa. The native person will be able to look at me and see the native side of me, but they'll also see that there's something else in there. They're kind of thinking, like, what is there? Now, I know this is, like, a little bit. I wouldn't say off topic, but it's good to know and understand as to when we get into this and why this is about my hair. Well, it's to get into that. My hair is the longest that it's ever been since I was like 10 years old. And when I was in grade four, we chopped it all off. I had really long hair down to like my shoulders. Then we chopped it all off. I'm pretty sure that it was probably because of lice, because why else would you chop off some kids luscious locks like that, right? So you probably had lice. Boom. Your parents chopped your hair off and that was it from there on out. 10 years old, had buzz cuts, and my hair is thick. Like you've never seen hair like this. We call it bare hair. It's so thick and it just goes straight out. It's like a shoe brush. It's terrible.
[00:07:41] Sometimes it would just drive me nuts because you can't do much with it. Like thick hair, you can't really style it. It's just imagine like a shoe brush, right? It's just, it's awful sometimes.
[00:07:51] So over the years I would just get buzz cuts and I wouldn't be able to style it because you couldn't. It was just so thick. It was just people would always want to touch it. And.
[00:08:01] And so I then eventually joined army cadets and you needed short hair. And so then I would just get buzz cuts, buzz cuts and all throughout high school I would just get these buzz cuts and it would eventually get shorter and shorter. You know, I'd have like a 1 inch cut and then it would work its way down, you know, all the way to half inch, quarter inch. And then next thing you know, I'm doing it with no blade at all. Just a complete clippers, no blade. And then once I joined the army, there was one day where I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try baking my head completely bald. And so that's what I did. So I was in the, in the bathroom just going at it with a Gillette razor. Took me forever. Which is kind of funny because fast forward a couple years later and I could do it within like five minutes. But the first time was like, it was like an hour, two hours, I don't know. And so, but that was like the evolution of my hair. And so part of the reason. And this is where it gets a little bit more.
[00:09:03] What would you say?
[00:09:05] A little bit more. Not emotional, but a little bit more.
[00:09:08] This is open. You know, this is like a secret that a lot of people don't actually know. About me and that you. You have to understand why. So the reason I was kind of getting into cutting my hair shorter and shorter and shorter is because what I found was that it. It kind. I kind of had a more of a Hispanic look to me when my hair was shorter than when it was longer. When it was longer, it was. I. I would look much more Native when it was shorter. I would look much more on the Hispanic side. Now, why this is such a key thing is because where I grew up in northern British Columbia, Canada, it's not a very. It's not a very.
[00:09:52] It's not a very good place for, say, Native Americans to grow up. Because Native Americans, they are. Their whole history, if you know anything about the Native American history, their whole history has just been abolished. It's just been swept under the rug by the Canadian and American governments. And it's, you know, it's overtaken so much that when I was traveling to Australia, I would tell people that I was Canadian, and they would look at me and they're like, hey, are you, like, Canadian? Canadian? Because, like, you. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, well, you know, you kind of, you know, like, you kind of don't look Canadian. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean?
[00:10:32] Like, what does a Canadian look like to you? And they'd be like, like me.
[00:10:36] I'm like, wow, you guys have been so brainwashed that you don't even know what the actual Canadians look like. Like, wow, that is just. Absolutely. Just mind blowing. And I'm like, no, I am Canadian. I'm the real fucking Canadian, okay? I am the fucking OG Canadian, okay? None of this, like, manufactured shit. So. But the thing is, is that what has happened to the Native Americans and their history has just been abolished and it's just been decimated and. And pushed to the side. And unfortunately, what has happened through that, you know, a lot of the families, you know, their children were taken away and, you know, put into assimilation camps and all these different things, residential schools, as to what they were. And this resulted in a lot of just terrible. Like, imagine having your children stolen away, and then all of a sudden your culture is ripped out. Nobody could speak your language, nobody could practice your history, your. Your traditions, all these different things that that was.
[00:11:37] And what this resulted in was these people who were trying to live their life had now had to try and form into this white life. You could say, Christian, whatever you want to, whatever it is, that. That's where they were supposed to, like, try to fit in and unfortunately, you know, they. This came in with a lot of drug use, a lot of alcohol use, a lot of just bad things that came from it. And so the more northern you get, in a way, it's kind of like the worse that it gets. So, like, let's say if I were to go to Vancouver, Canada, the white people are a minority. You know, we'd sit around the university and play, you know, like, spot the white guy because they were just such a minority. You know, it's so crazy. But then if you go to northern B.C. canada, it's, it's completely different. I remember being at a water park in Vernon, bc, and I'm standing there and I like, notice this pattern, but I didn't know what the pattern was. I'm like, I recognize something right now, but I don't know what it is. I'm looking around this whole super busy water park, middle of summer, and I can see a pattern of some sort, but I don't know what exactly it is. But then all of a sudden it hits me and I look at myself and I look around and I'm the only non white person at this entire water park. And it was crazy. It was just such a crazy thing. So going back to kind of the history and what it brought upon, all the alcoholism, the drugism, the, all this, this addiction in where I grew up, Native Americans were, let's say, where, where would you start? You know, when you're, you turn on the tv, you see the movies, you see the movies of, you know, there's. Everybody's in the movies. White people, black people, Chinese people, Asian people, Indian people. But who's not in the movies? Native Americans. Even if there was like a Native American character, 99% of the time, it wasn't even a real Native American person. It was like a Mexican person playing a Native American.
[00:13:36] And so, like, this is what has happened to the culture. So you as a child, you turn on these movies, you turn on these TV shows, you turn on these music videos, and you're watching this and you're seeing all these people, they're winning awards, you see the Olympics, you see all these people that are up in these, these places of success, you could say. But there's, there's somebody who you don't see, and that's somebody like yourself. And this is where it becomes very, very tough. So, but where do you see people like yourself? If you don't see them on, you know, these, these channels, these media places where I grew up, you would see them on the streets Passed out drunk, you know, they're fighting in the streets. They're, you know, they're taking drugs. You know, they're.
[00:14:26] That's where you'd see them. So imagine as a child, you're growing up and you are seeing this. Imagine, like, what that would do to your subconscious so you're not seeing people like you on the tv. That's why diversity is such a thing. If you only saw white people in positions of power and you were of an ethnic background, well, that would do something to your internal, you know, belief system.
[00:14:51] So as a child, you grow up and you see this. I remember even one girl, I remember her to this day, you know, like, you. You. You're a dirty Indian. You know, like, comments like that, and it was just like, wow, like, blew my mind. And this was like, in high school, like, I know who this chick is, like, to this day, and I, like, I know the comments that she would say. And so this is like the mindset of people.
[00:15:18] So here you are, you're growing up. You're. You're told that you're supposed to find, you know, something to do, something to do, do for the rest of your life. And you're trying to think of, like, what can I do? But then the only people that you see for inspiration, quote, unquote, they're on the streets, you know, they're. They're drunk. And you, like, how can you not allow that in to come and say, like, is that all I'm ever going to amount to? So this is why when I was growing up and cutting my ha, I would. I would try and set myself away from the Native American side of me. Like, if somebody asked, I would say I was Hispanic. I would rarely ever say that I was native. And so I would try and pull myself away from this. I'd hear comments like, let's say if I was growing my hair during COVID for example, you know, I'd hear comments from people and they're like, yeah, I know you're native, but like, you look. You look really native with your hair longer. I'm like, well, what the does that mean? You know, like. Like, people say comments, but they, like, I don't think they really understand what they're saying. And. But the. The. The message is heard kind of deal, you know, so. So that's kind of why I geared away from my native side. Now. I did grow up in a white family, okay, like, who eventually became my parents and all this stuff, like, away from my biological family. And there's a lot to that as well. You know, I. I did try to have a relationship with my biological family, but what I didn't like about that is because I was growing up in a white family. Like, I grew up in the foster care system, but because I was growing up in this white family, you know, I. I was different. You know, I. I didn't look at people with, you know, as white people or the white man. Like, that's what a lot of them. A lot of Native Americans would say, is it? They'd be like, oh, you're friends with the white man, or, you know, the white man. Like, it's just shit like that. I never saw that. Like, I had friends who were white. I had friends who were native. I had all kinds of friends. And so it was. So I never really fit into the. The native side. And, you know, my biological mother hated the fact that I was growing up in a white family. She even hated the fact that I was dating a white girl.
[00:17:36] There was just a whole mess with that.
[00:17:38] I remember being. Going to summer camp when I was a kid, and I never even really fit in with these other kids because I was different. I talked different, I grew up different. And they didn't even accept me, and they would make fun of me. And this one girl, like, said I was flipping her off when I wasn't. I was just, like, enjoying my, you know, just own space. And then I was just kind of, like, doing whatever. And she's like, he's flipping me off. Look at him. And I'm like, what? And then I got in trouble, and I didn't like those kids. And my parents tried to send me in the next year, and I was like, I don't want to go to that place. And one thing as well is I always hated the segregation. Like, if we're ever going to, you know, come together as people, how can we do that if we're segregating ourselves? We're doing it ourselves. Okay? It's not just, you know, outside people are doing it to us. It's we ourselves are doing it, you know, And I'm talking about, like, Native Americans are doing it to themselves. And so it's only, like, nowadays. And it's very interesting. I see posts and stuff online.
[00:18:41] Native American have this bread, it's called bannock. And I see some posts online, and they're like, oh, hey, Joanne's brought some bannock in. Yay, bannock.
[00:18:52] So good, bannock. And I'm like, you guys didn't even know what the bannock was 10 minutes ago, okay. Now you're all of a sudden all about it, you know, and like, I appreciate the effort, but it's, it's. It's in a way, it's so fake. People love, like, Aboriginal Day and they put on the T shirts and they, they get their face painted and they're like, hey, every child matters. And it's just like. But then the next day happens and then all of a sudden the T shirt's gone, the face paint's gone, you know, the, you know, celebration's gone. And then all of a sudden you're presented with a Native American person, you know, and your old ways come back. Ask me how I know. Okay. The thing is, is that they like to support something, but not actually support it. They just like to. What is that called? Virtue signaling. And.
[00:19:40] Yeah, I just, I just think there's a lot of. In. Nowadays, we have Reconciliation Day, we have the Aboriginal Day, and like every child matters, blah, blah, blah. We got orange T shirts. Like, we have all this. That a lot of people just.
[00:19:55] I think they're just very fake about it. And like, I don't care about your orange T shirt day. I don't care about, you know, your Aboriginal Day or whatever day. Like, I want know what you're doing on the off days. That's what I want to know. But anyways, like, this. That's a whole. That's a whole nother topic.
[00:20:11] So where was I? So growing up, you know, you're. You're. You're looking to do something, you're looking to go in a direction in life, and you're. You're being bombarded with these messages. Like, in order to learn about or to see people like yourselves on tv, you had to turn to this, like, one channel. It was the Aboriginal People's Television Network. I think it was called aptn. And it was like, in this weird place. It wasn't between, like, channels two to 12. It wasn't between, like 13 to, you know, 30. It wasn't between the normal channels where you'd find like, much music, you know, tsn, like all these stuff. It was like in like, the back weird area of like, the channels. And yeah, I hated that I saw that. And I was as, you know, as you're growing up. And so this kind of like, built that within me to separate that from. From that side of me. So anyways, so now you can kind of get an understanding as to how I grew up, how I developed this belief, and why I wanted to separate myself so much from being viewed as Native American. Now here's the thing. This is only in Canada and the usa. Outside of these places, if you are a Native American and you tell other people in Australia, New Zealand, Europe, wherever, like people are, they treat you like royalty. It is crazy. Like, so I went to Australia and what had happened was the first weekend out, I had a freshly shaved head. First weekend out, friends were like, hey, let's go to the lake. We get to the lake, nice, beautiful, hot summer spring. I don't know what it was. It was hot as hell, though. And they're like, hey, do you want some sunscreen? I'm like, nah, I got that dark skin, you know, I don't want no cancer causing freaking sunscreen. So we spend the whole entire day out at the lake. Well, guess what? On the way back home, I'm sitting in the back of the truck and everything starts to tighten up on me. Like, my skin is tightening. I'm feeling, like, very odd. And I'm kind of touching my arm and I'm thinking to myself, like, what happened? What's happening to me? And they look at me and they're like, oh, my God, you're so burnt. And I'm like, burned. I don't burn. I've never burned in my life. 29 years old, never burned in my life. Like, you're so burnt. Oh, my God, this is. This is bad. I'm like. I'm like, no, I'm not burned. I never burned. I was so burned. I was.
[00:22:37] I was so burned. Oh, my God. It was the most painful thing ever.
[00:22:42] I. It hurt to wear a T shirt. Head to toe, I was burnt. I couldn't shave my head for like two, three weeks.
[00:22:50] It was just peeling, blistering, everything. It was awful, awful experience. Never wish it upon anybody. Now what this did is I went from two to three times a week shaving my head to now two to three weeks without shaving my head. And now I had this little afro growing, just this little shoe brush, you know. You ever see a Chia Pet? You know what a Chia Pet is? So I had this little, you know, a bit of hair growing. Now, because I was in another country, like Australia, I thought to myself, what if I just let it grow? If I was back home in Canada, I don't think I ever would have had that thought. It would have been, you know, as soon as I can, I'm shaving it off because I know what that's like. Literally, like, I lived in Vancouver for five years, and like I said, vancouver, you don't even think or realize that you are of another.
[00:23:44] Of another race.
[00:23:47] Is that the word nationality? But then after living in Vancouver for five years, I had to go back up north for a little bit. And I went up there and it was like an immediate night and day experience. I was just. I remember just the feeling of like, oh, yeah, I forgot that that's what that feels like. I forgot that people still live like this with these ideas and thoughts. I forgot that. So that was really interesting. And that's. Even to this day, you know, still to this day, depending on where you are, of course. But it is. And so. So anyways, here I'm in Australia. I got a little bit of hair because of my sunburn. And I just thought to myself, what if I just grow it? And so the sunburnt went away. I just kept growing it and it was just growing straight out. It was just growing like a shoe brush bare hair. And I grew it for three months. Like this hair was just going. And it grows straight out. Literally, it just grows straight out. Like I said, it's thick as hell. So many hairdressers are like, wow, like, your hair is thick.
[00:24:49] Like Billie Eilish, you know.
[00:24:51] So I remember sitting down and, well, actually, like, I was. I was thinking, okay, I'm gonna get it cut at three months now. My I. I cherish my mindset a lot. The way I think, the way I see things, you know, that's my mindset. That's. That's. That's my specialty. And so my. My safe space, I call it. So I don't let just anybody all up in my safe space. So I searched high and low. I wanted to find the perfect place. So I found a place downtown, Brisbane, Australia. And I could go online and book with a female. I wasn't about to let no dude all up in my safe space.
[00:25:34] So booked her and I got there, sitting in the chair, she's like, so what are we doing? I'm nervous as hell. I'm like, I don't. I don't know. I haven't sat in one of these chairs in years.
[00:25:47] All I want to do is just look good on the way out the door. She's like, okay. And she does her thing. And I remember that first haircut. I still got a photo somewhere and I, like, took it from like a bathroom selfie. And I remember when I left, like, you kind of look at it, but, you know, you. You haven't fully looked at it because you don't look in the mirror when you're There, like, for, like, five minutes, like a weirdo. So you kind of look at it and you're like, yeah, it's cool. Thanks. And then you pay, and then you're on your way out. So now I'm walking down the street, and I'm, like, looking in all the windows, and there'd be, like, a mirror once in a while, and I'd be kind of, like, walking by, looking at myself. And it wasn't until I went into this bathroom that I actually, like, saw it, and I was like, this is wow. Wow. And it was completely different. It was something that I hadn't experienced in a very, very long time. And so here we were, we were now on the journey of hair in Australia.
[00:26:42] And this was a totally new experience for me, a totally new person. I don't think I could have ever gotten to this point if I was in Canada still, just because of how I know Canada is, even to this day, unfortunately. So now at the point, it was, let's say, a couple inches long. You know, you kind of have the short. Kind of short on the sides, a little bit longer on the top kind of style. Kind of put some product in it, you know, like, that kind of style. Now, over time, what I would do is I would grow it a little bit. Now it'd be, let's say, three inches, four inches. And I remember when I went to Northern Australia.
[00:27:19] Oh, yeah. Because I went to Nepal. So when I was in Nepal, I just let it grow, and so it was growing for six weeks. And then I went to Northern Australia, and it had grown quite a bit. And I had found this hairdresser. Two best hairdressers I had ever had were in Brisbane, Australia, and Northern Australia. Amazing. So I went there, and this lady, she was just, like, amazing with hair. She even went to, like, Amsterdam for, like, a barber convention or something. Like, she was really passionate about it, and it was just amazing.
[00:27:50] So she styled my hair, like, super. Like, awesome. Like, I've never had hair like this before. And I was like, wow. Like, I loved it. And so I'd go to her, you know, in the five months that I was there, I would go to her every. Every three weeks. I think it was. You know, that's how long my hair would kind of. It'd be at that point of I got to get a cut every three weeks. She did an amazing job every time. Then eventually I went to Bali. First haircut in Bali. They ruined it. They absolutely ruined it, and it was terrible. I was. I was living in Bali for Two years, and I was chasing a good haircut. They ruined it the first time. They, like, cut it all uneven and. Oh, my God, my poor hair. I was. I was just. Then they tried to fix it and made it worse. And the only thing that I could do is, like, put some really thick, like, gel, some super strong gel into it and like, slick it right back. That was literally the only thing I could do. Or else I look like. What's it called? A pineapple. We called it the pineapple. I lived with a pineapple for so many times. I don't know why in Bali, but they love the pineapple haircut.
[00:29:00] Literally, like a pineapple. You know, Bert Nurney, he's the yellow guy. He's got that, like, little tuft of hair that, like, pokes out on the side that, you know, it was kind of like that. It was awful.
[00:29:12] Once in a while, I'd run into, like, a decent haircut in Bali, but two years, I was just chasing terrible haircuts. I'd even grow it out. I would grow it out, and what would happen is I'd grow it out partly because I wanted them to have a lot to work with, so they wouldn't be able to mess it up, or they would. They would. And then eventually I was getting to a point where I was like, I'm going to grow it out. That's what I'm going to do. So let's start to grow it now. This is where we get back into the internal. The internal work that I needed to do in order to get to where I am today. I would grow it out for, let's say, down to my ears, let's say. And what would happen is, during this time, it's a very awkward time for your hair. It's a very awkward length, especially when you have very thick hair like mine. It's very hard to manage and do anything with. So here I am, someone who always felt like I needed to present myself in a certain way because this kind of.
[00:30:15] How would I best explain this? Let's take a. Oh, let's take a white person, for example. White person, they throw on some sweatpants. They throw on, you know, a dirty old sweater. You know, they go around, they, you know, do their grocery shopping. It's no big deal. Okay? Now, a colored person, black person, maybe, you know, a native person, like, whatever, you know, ethnic person can wear the same thing, but it looks much different. Like, you. Like. Do you understand what I mean? So there's always, like, this. This feeling that you need to present yourself a lot better than how some other people may need to present themselves. And it's just. It's just the way of the world. And you. You wouldn't necessarily understand unless you. You've lived it. And there's a lot of people who would be like, that's not true. It's just like, well, you have to live it in order to know. And so a lot of the stuff that I talk about in this podcast, you'd have to live it in order to know. And so. So anyways, like, here's a person who always felt like they needed to present themselves in a certain way in order to, you know, get a certain response from people.
[00:31:27] Now I'm at a point where I'm in Bali and I'm trying to grow my hair out. Now my hair is just a gong show, okay? It's not clean cut. It doesn't look good. It's not styled. It's nothing. It's just in this awkward stage. It's really hitting my conf. Confidence, because I'm someone who's got a lot of confidence. I'm someone who likes to present himself well, who likes to come in, you know, just have that. Have that edge. But when you have just say shitty hair at the time, it's hard to have that confidence. That same confidence, it takes. It hits your confidence, and a little bit more insecurity comes out. And so basically what would happen is I would run into this wall like this, and then eventually, after trying to grow my hair, I'd eventually just cut it. I'm like, I'm done with it, done cutting it. I'd go in and get it cut back to clean, cut short down, boom, there you go. And then I'd get comments on it. You know, people would be like, oh, wow, your hair looks so good. You know, something like that. So, like, you'd get that boost of confidence back again. So in order for. So I would do this again and again and again, I'd attempt to grow it. I'd hit that wall of insecurity, and then I'd retreat back, cut my hair, and I'd be, okay, good. Now, going back to saying or talking about how I like to evolve into a new person, a new, new version of myself. What was it? I think there was Covid. So there was Covid. And I shouldn't say that because you know how you get flagged and deleted. But anyways, 2020, 2020 came around, and you couldn't get a haircut. So my hair was growing. And even back then, People would make comments, you know, of my hair growing, and, you know, maybe they meant well, but I don't know. I. I think that deep down it was something else. And so not. Not for all people, but I would say, you know, yeah, it's. That's. That's totally another story. That's totally another. Yeah.
[00:33:28] So anyways, that happened, and I'm here. I'm like, attempting to grow my hair because I. You can't get a haircut anywhere. But then you run into that wall again. And so then you go out and you cut it. So then there I am, I'm cutting my hair. I then attempting it again. So I'm going at it again. And this is, say, 2021. Yeah, 2021. I'm down in Vancouver now, not in northern BC. Okay, northern BC is definitely different than down South. Very diverse, multicultural. Down in Vancouver. So here I am, I'm looking for a barbershop, and there's one that's highly rated. And, like, I'm trying to find, like, a girl to do it once again, you know, my safe space, all that stuff. And I call this girl up. She's like, yeah, I can do that. And so then I get there, and she sees my hair, and my hair is, like, sticking straight out. It's thick as hell. It's only like 4 inches long. And she's like, wow. She's like, do you. Do you style it like that?
[00:34:23] Like, no, it just stands up like that. And so. So this other more senior guy, he's like, can I, you know, you know, work with this? And I'll say, yeah, I guess so. So even though I don't necessarily let dudes all up in my safe space, he starts, you know, working his magic. And what I really liked about him is that he really knew what he was doing, and he educated me along the way. So he told me about, like, brushing my hair. He told me about different products to use and told me, you know, different brushes to use and all these different things and told me about, like, hair dryers and their effect and all these different things. And so I had this knowledge of hair that I didn't have before.
[00:35:03] So that. So rather than my hair just growing uncontrollably for a long time, I could somewhat tame it in a way so that I could have a little bit more confidence while it was growing through that awkward stage. So. And what also helped is I was down in Vancouver. So I was down in Vancouver, you know. So once again, if I was in northern Canada, probably wouldn't have happened, but because I was down there and I was also working a lot, you know, you're not really out in public or that kind of stuff. So you. You're not necessarily focusing or needing that confidence that you did before. Even though you have confidence, it's just different, right? So. So I start growing my hair, and I keep going back to this guy and I tell him, I just want to grow my hair. And so he's, you know, he's doing this stuff and that stuff educating me along the way. And, you know, I'm able to kind of, like, manage it now. I'm kind of at that point where it's like at a really awkward length, a little bit, like, weird and then. But the thing is, is I had a lot more confidence now. I. What would I say? I had a lot more confidence going into it this time. And it was almost like something had changed within me. And I said, you know what? I don't really care if somebody thinks I look more native. I don't care if, you know, if I do look more native. You know, if. If they. If that matters to them and that I don't look a certain way, then that's not my problem. That's their problem. Now, this takes a lot from somebody who grew up in the way that I had mentioned earlier, how I grew up. This takes a lot in order to be able to. To push that aside and say, you know what? I'm gonna own who I am. And if somebody doesn't like that, that's not my problem. And what also helped push me in this direction was I really had nowhere else to go because I've cut my hair so many times, you know, for the past. What was it? 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. So it was like, for the past five years, I've been cutting my hair and I like, what are you going to do? Are you going to go back to being bald? No, because I've already been there. Are you going to go back to a shorter haircut? No, because I've already been there. Are you going to cut your hair again to this length? No, because I've already been there. Where haven't you been? Well, I haven't been with long hair. And what do you want to do in life? What do you want to accomplish in life? What do you want to achieve in life? What is important to you? Well, growing. Growing is important to me. Stretching beyond my comfort zone is important to me. Becoming somebody new and more empowered, more wise, smarter, stronger, more confident that that is what I want and how are you going to get there? Is going back to who you've already been gonna get you there? No, not necessarily. So you've already been bald, you've already had short buzz cuts, you've already had longer hair, you've already had this length of hair, but you haven't gotten past that point to have even longer hair. What if you were able to break through that point and get to that point where you have, let's say, who knows, like a foot long. Foot long of hair just hanging down? What if you could get to that point? Do you think, do you think in order to get to that point, you would have to be somebody different? Do you think that person would be stronger? Do you think that person would be more confident? Do you think getting to that person would be a beneficial thing or not? So these are the kinds of things that I had to go through in order to get to where I am today. And I'm still going through it. Like, it's. It's like a. It's like if you're pushing through something, you're not quite there yet, but you're still pushing through it. That's kind of like what it. It's like right now. So this is the. The kind of like thinking in the process is because what I really didn't want to do is go back to the person who I'd already been, whether that was somebody who shaved their head completely bald, whether that was somebody who had shorter type hair, like, whatever that was. I didn't want to go back to those people because one, for the past four years, I've known that person, and prior to that I was many years bald. So I know who that person is as well. But who I don't know is this person with long hair. That's who I don't know. But in order for me to get there, I have to overcome all of these beliefs, all of these.
[00:39:33] What would you say? These false ideas, these false narratives, these fears, these insecurities. I literally have to push through those and not give a shit about anybody. And to get to the person who's on the other side. The only way I can get to that person with long hair is if I push through all of that. So now you can see me growing my hair. It's not just me growing my hair. It's so much more than that. It's such a bigger. A bigger thing than that for me personally. So when I look at myself in the mirror today, it's not just looking at myself with hair. It's Looking at myself, of this new version of myself, of somebody who is far more confident, who is far more sure of themselves, who has grown and overcome so much in order to become this person, in order to get to this person, who I am today and on my way to become another version. So that's why I wanted to share this story of growth and overcome overcoming of fears and insecurities and all these things. And it's, it's huge. It really is huge. And I hope that you know somebody who's listening to this. You, you have something within yourself and you know that you want to achieve. And maybe you keep hitting that wall like I did, and you keep resorting back to who you're comfortable with, but you're not being honest with yourself and saying, you know what? The reason I keep going back to this person is because it's comfortable and the reason I can't become that person is because I'm scared, is because I am insecure. I'm not confident because I fear. I fear the, the looks, I fear the judgment, I fear the prejudice, I fear, I fear all that bullshit. But if you can push that aside and say, you know what? I don't give a shit about that. I'm going to become this person. And if anybody else has a problem with that, then that's not my fault and it's definitely not my problem. And when you are able to do that and overcome that, you have just unlocked a, a totally new version of yourself that. What's amazing is that you don't lose that. You, you may get beat down by something in the future, but you, you, you, you, you will always know that you've overcome that peace, that strength and that courage is within you. So that's the beautiful thing about something like this. And every, everybody has something like this, you know, whether it's, whether it's wanting to speak out about the truth. Let's say maybe, you know, speaking out about the truth is, is a very difficult thing because you lose friends, you lose family, you lose partners, you lose a lot of. And maybe you want to stand up for what's right. Maybe you want to speak your truth, but you think to yourself, no, I don't. I don't want to do that because I don't want to lose this relationship with my family member, my parents, my brother, my sisters, my aunties, my friends, my co workers. I don't want to be the one that's isolated at work. But if you were to break through and say, you know what? I don't care I don't care if people think I'm crazy. I don't care if people think that I'm some wacko, tinfoil, you know, racist, misogynistic, as our prime minister likes to call us.
[00:42:59] I'm gonna do what's right, and I'm gonna speak the truth, because that's who I am. I'm gonna be honest with myself, and I'm gonna speak the truth, and I'm gonna break through this, and then that's what I'm gonna. I'm gonna be me. Anybody doesn't like me for being me, and that's on them, and that's unfortunate for them.
[00:43:15] So that's another example. And I know that there's a lot of people out there who do see what's happening in the world, and they want to speak their truth. They want to share, but they fear. They fear what comes with that. And if there's anything I can say is that, you know what, if anybody has a problem with you being you, then that's unfortunate for them. And so that is the story of my hair. My hair is down to.
[00:43:42] I could probably wrap it in a ponytail right now. I'm pretty sure I could. I'd have a little. Little tiny ponytail. And, you know, I look in the mirror all the time, and, you know, it kind of makes me smile of, like, how. How far I've gotten. Like, I said, this is the longest my hair has ever been since I was, you know, 25 years ago, 10 years old. And to get to where I am today, like, I'm excited for it. I actually had a haircut back in June. It was the last haircut that I had. And she damn near cut. She cut so much of it off, and I was so hurt, you know, even after telling her how much I was trying to grow it out, she cut so much of it off. It put me back, like, two months of hair growth. I was so distraught. And that was such an interesting thing to even experience is that feeling of, you cut all my hair off and feeling hurt by that, you know, Whereas, like, before, like, I literally hated hair back when I was shaving my head bald. If I could have traded, you know, hair with a bald guy, I would have done it. And I wouldn't, you know, have to shave my head all the time. But now I.
[00:44:40] Yeah, I just grow the hell out of it. I can't wait for it to get longer and longer, and I have, you know, I wonder what I'll do when it is much longer. You know, will I put it in a braid. Will I, you know, embrace my Native American roots a little bit more? And I have. I have no idea. Oh, yeah. Here's another thing. Part of the reason as to why I wanted to. Wanted to grow my hair is I heard this.
[00:45:04] This. What would you call this story? This something. And it was about the Native Americans and why they had long hair. So Native Americans had long, long hair, and then when they were forced into the military, they would cut all their hair off. And what happened is they weren't able to track anymore. So they bring in these Native Americans who are really good at tracking, and they were really good with energy and, yeah, the whole tracking thing. But then once they cut all the hair off, they lost that ability because they understood and knew that your hair was another. An extension. It was like an antenna. And that always kind of interested me and, you know, like, always trying to be better and always trying to grow and always trying to become a new version of myself. I always thought, what if. What if I could do that? What if I could grow my hair so I had that so that I could connect to the energy, you know, to the world much better. You know, if you've read the Alchemist, you know, I always talk about the Alchemist, and he always talks about the. The language of the world. You know, what if. What if having longer hair, for me could connect to the language of the world, you know, that would be amazing. I'd love that. And so that's kind of what I. What I'm excited for. And I love it. I love my hair.
[00:46:23] It's. It's. It's been a journey, a learning journey, that's for sure.
[00:46:29] I have. I have so many different shampoos and stuff in my shampoos and conditioners. You know, trying to find that one that, you know, you're. You're reading about it, you're. There's so much that goes into it. And so, yeah, it's. It's an interesting thing, and I'm. I'm glad to be on this journey and to have gotten to where I am, and I'm excited to. Where I'll get to eventually.
[00:46:55] And. Yeah. And all I want to do is just become that better version of myself. You know, you're just always learning and growing and becoming better and over time, and that's really. That's what I think life is about, is becoming the best possible version of yourself. And that's why I share these stories, is I hope that it gives you something to be inspired about, that maybe you see something in your life. And, you know, you've. You've hit that wall a few times, and you haven't been able to break through it because of insecurities, fears, whatever it is. And hopefully you hear something like this and you think to yourself, you know what? In order to become who I want to become, in order to achieve what I want to achieve, I have to break through this wall. And that's what I want for people, is for you to hear something like this, get inspired by it, break through that wall for yourself. And then, who knows, maybe down the road, you're. You're eventually, you know, sending me an email and saying, hey, I want to let you know that it was because of you and that podcast and that story that I am in this direction of life now. And that, to me, would be one of the most amazing emails to ever, ever have. So, anyways, guys. Nathan, Unplugged Freedom.
[00:48:04] Working on the website.
[00:48:06] I'm so busy nowadays. You can follow me on Instagram. That's pretty much one of the places I'm a little bit more active. You can check out Telegram, Unplugged Freedom. Share a few things once in a while there.
[00:48:18] I try to keep up with it all, but very, very busy. But let me know, like, if you heard this and you, you know, you're here listening to me right now, like, let me know. It'd be much appreciated to know that you actually heard to this point and that you got something out of this. And, you know, it's. Yeah. Anyways, we'll talk to you later.
