[00:00:00] Yo, what is happening, guys? Nathan, back once again with another episode of the Unplugged Freedom podcast. And in today's episode, we're going to talk about the dynamic between heart and brain. This might be a little bit longer of a podcast because there's actually quite a bit of stuff to cover. But when, I mean heart and brain, what I'm talking about is we, your heart and your brain. Maybe you are too much brain and you're too analytical. Maybe you think too much and you don't have enough heart in there, where if you are too much heart, maybe you make emotional, irrational decisions. And so one thing I would recommend is check out a Instagram account that is called the awkward yeti. And don't forget unplugged freedom on Instagram. And you can find
[email protected] where you can check out more of our episodes and the different stories that I share, and you can learn about the different lessons that I've learned over the life that I've lived. And so the journey that I've come from. And so, hopefully, it inspires you. And then you can actually, in the future, you can email me one day and say, you know what? I heard this episode on your podcast, and I gotta say that because of it, I changed my life. And I want to say thank you. And so those are the messages and the things that I absolutely love over the years that I've gotten from people. And so that's kind of one of the things that really inspired me to start this podcast. And so, anyways, back to it. So the awkward yeti on Instagram, check them out. And they have a few characters on there. It's a little cartoon comic type deal, and their main characters are heart and brain. So this cartoon, human brain. Cartoon human heart. So they're really funny. They go back and forth with each other. So you have heart in the comic, and you have brain. Heart and brain are friends. They work together. And heart is basically.
[00:01:39] He's all fun and games. He just loves it. Okay, there's this one comic that they had, and I just love it. Heart's laying on the ground, and he's just got a big smile on his face. He's just laying in the grass, looking up at the blue sky. Brain comes along and kicks him and says, get up. We got a million things to do. And heart's laying there. He's like, why do we got him do a million things? Why can't we do zero things?
[00:02:00] And that's just heart. Heart is just if he was left on his own, he would just. Just all fun and no business whatsoever. Whereas brain, he's the opposite. If he was left on his own and he would just work, work, work, and that's all he would do. And so the two of them, they have a good dynamic together, because with heart, heart would see a lion and be like, oh, my God, look at that lion. He's so cute, and run after it, where brain is there to protect heart and say, no, I know he's cute, but you do not go after him. Do not touch him, don't go close to him. And so brain protects heart, but then at the same time, heart is there to take brain on the adventures, because without heart, brain would just work, and no adventures, no fun whatsoever. And so heart loves that. He loves bringing them and dragging them along whether he likes it or not. And even though brain is kind of annoyed by heart, he loves. He loves heart. He couldn't live without heart, and he likes to protect heart. And sometimes, unfortunately, he can't always protect heart. And heart will come back all battered and bruised and hurt. And, you know, brain feels bad for that, but he'll take care of and say, I'm sorry I wasn't there, and he will take care of him. And so these two in this comic on the awkward Yeti Instagram account, they are, it's just, they just do such a, they portray the human heart and the human brain very, very well. So in this podcast episode, what we're going to talk about is heart and brain, your heart, your brain. And we're going to talk about it within ourselves, and then we're also going to talk about it within relationships and how that plays a role as well. I'm going to give you examples and stories, and so that you kind of have a good, good idea as to what we're talking about. So maybe you are too much brain or maybe you're too much heart. So if you're too much brain, you're very analytical, you're very logical, and maybe you don't have the ability to be able to, to put yourself into other people's shoes. Maybe you don't have your, the ability to be able to, to open up, to be vulnerable, things like that. And you're just too logical. You overthink things. And that is, if you're too much brain, if you're too much heart, maybe you make some emotional, irrational decisions. And so to give you an example, I know somebody who met somebody and got into a relationship with them. And then within a month they ran off to Vegas and got married. So I'll let you take a guess as to how well you think this marriage turned out. And you wouldn't be wrong, okay? Because it doesn't take a rocket science in order to know. And so, yeah, that was very interesting. But that is when somebody is too much heart, okay? And so that is an emotionally rational decision. That's what we're talking about when we're saying too much heart. And I'm gonna kind of be a little bit different. I'm gonna show you the, the difference as to what I'm talking about in another example coming up. So another example, I'll give you a couple of examples of too much heart. Another example is when I was living in Bali. I lived in Bali for a year. No, I lived in Bali for two years. What am I saying? I worked for a hotel in Bali for a year. And that's what brought me to Bali in the first place. And so my job was selling timeshare to unsuspecting victims. Basically, that was the whole ordeal. And I worked this job for an entire year. I loved it. I actually really loved the job. I hated the management. The management drove me just up to the wall, to the point where I just, I just actually just stopped going. I was just like, yeah, you guys can go fuck yourself, okay? You don't treat me right, guess what? I'm going to walk out the door. I don't need you, okay? And so. But if you're going to treat me right, I'll stay as long as you want. And so. So I worked this job for an entire year. Loved it. So my job in this thing, selling timeshare, was to rile up the emotion within you, okay? And sprinkle on a little bit of logic at the most perfect time. So basically, I'll share with you a little bit about how it works. So you book your trip to Bali. You get your, you get, you get to the island, you get into your hotel, you fall asleep, you wake up the next day, you step outside of your hotel and you're excited for your new vacation. And then all of a sudden, this indonesian bounces in front of you and says, hey, guys, how you doing? I'm so and so, yada, yada. Hey, I just wanted to give you a little card and. And so, welcome to Bali, yada, yada. You open it up, boom, you got a gold sticker. Wow. He's bouncing all over the walls. He's saying that this is worth so much money. He's riled up the emotion in you saying that you're about to feed his family for an entire month because of this ticket that, this prize that you won. And in order for you to claim your prize, you have to go this way. Come with me. Hop in this taxi. And it's just down the street. We'll take you there so you can claim your prize. He's riled you up with, with emotion, a lot of emotion. And so what happens is that it's not down the street. It's way down the street. You're crammed in this taxicab. You're kidnapped on your vacation. You're brought down, riled up on the emotion. You're just thinking, okay, well, we're doing it for this guy. We're doing it for this guy. And so you're going, he's, he's thanking you so much. He's, he's super excited. He's really good at his job. You're then brought to an office. At the office, you see other victims just like yourself. You're waiting in line. You finally get called up. Now you're sitting in front of a lady. This lady is now interrogating you. She's asking you how long you've been married. What do you do for work? Where do you live? Do you own, do you rent? Yada, yada. She's interrogating you, the whole, entire thing. She's basically capturing a lead. Now she also tells you in order for you to claim your prize, you have to go through a presentation and you only have to stay for 1 hour. After 1 hour, you can leave at any point in time. And so you're not, you're not bound to anything. But in order to claim the prize, you need 1 hour. Now this is where I come in. You've been in, you've been kidnapped for about an hour on your vacation. Walk in, the door comes me smiling. Hand out for a handshake. Hey, how you doing? My name is Nathan and I'm going to be showing you around today. Big smile on my face. I'm super excited. What's your name? John and Mary. Fantastic. Let's go. Let me show you what our beautiful place here. Okay. My job is not to sell you anything, okay? My job is just to show you what we got. And if you want to stay, you can stay. If you don't want to stay, there's the door. Nothing's holding you. We'll get you your prize. You'll be on your way. Okay, great. Fantastic. Shaking the hands. You're getting the nods, you're getting the yeses. So my job is to take you from this time where you've been kidnapped off your vacation, and I have 3 hours to cook you. I'm putting you in the oven. Okay? I have 3 hours to cook you. If I do it for longer, I'm probably going to overcook you. If I do it for less, I'm definitely going to undercook you. 3 hours was the magical time. So my job was to rile you up with so much emotion, okay? And then sprinkle in some analytical and logical at the most perfect time so that you thought, wow, it'd be a no brainer to do this. You'd be an idiot not to do this. I'd be like, yes, that's right, John, you would be an idiot not to do this. And you don't want to be an idiot in front of your wife, now, would you? Of course not. All right, so what do you think you should do there, John? You want to take your wife to Thailand? Well, you want to stay in that janky ass hotel that you're currently staying in right now? What do you want to stay in a hotel like this? All right. When's the last time you took your wife on a hotel vacation like this? All right. You know what I'm saying?
[00:08:45] And so that was my job, was to rally up the emotion, okay? Keep as much logic out of the out of the equation as possible so that by the end of it, you did make an emotional, irrational decision. So that's what we're talking about when we're talking about heart. And so you're making an emotionally rational decision. So this can be done. And this is, think of corporations. You're talking about the makeup corporation, talking about the food industry, the pharmaceutical industry. You're talking about all these industries that are out there that are paying billions upon billions of dollars to tell you that you're not enough. You're not man enough. You're not woman enough. You're not beautiful, beautiful enough. You're not thin enough. You're not anything enough, okay? You are inadequate. They're spending billions upon billions of dollars to tell you that you are not enough. But in order for you to be enough, you got to buy this car, you got to buy this truck. You got to buy this makeup. You got to buy this product. That is what they are doing. They're essentially putting this idea into you. They're putting hitting on your emotion. But if you actually woke up and you said, I am enough, I don't need this in order to be a man. I don't need this in order to be a woman. I don't need to be this thin. I don't need to be this fit. I don't need to be any of the messages that they're trying to tell you. If you wake up in the morning and you say, I am enough, and if somebody doesn't think that I am enough, that is not my problem. And so there is a. It kind of reminds me of a story about my hair. And if you. If, you know, I've got really long hair, and I did a podcast on my, on my. I did a podcast episode talking about my hair and the journey about my hair, and I would recommend it.
[00:10:19] It's a really good podcast, really good story about how you may just see me and I have long hair, but there's so much. There's such a deeper story about it and the things that I had to overcome in order to get to where I am with it. And when I look at my hair, I see that. I see what, I see all those things. I'm very proud of that. And so the thing is, is that you had to overcome some certain things because of that. So, anyways, that's another episode. So that's. That's the job of these. These, uh, corporations, is that they're spending billions of dollars hit on those emotions and to get the heart going so that you make these emotional, irrational decisions. Okay? Another example is, when I was living in Bali as well, there's something that's called the Bali dog. And so the Bali dog is basically a. A dog that is just. Just a mot, okay? Doesn't really have a home, doesn't really have an owner. And. And it's just a mutt. It's just a. It's ratted up, it's tatted up. It's most likely homeless, you know, scavenging for food, things like that. Just going through the trash and all the scraps and everything. It's. It's sad to see. Uh, yes, most definitely. But it's just. It's just a bali dog. It's just normal. Let's say, when I was up in ba. Uh, up in ubud, okay? If you. If, you know, eat, pray, love, the movie Ubud is like the jungle. Ubud. I can't remember how they say it. Ubud.
[00:11:37] And so it's up in the jungle. It's where all the hippies and the yogis go and everything. And so eat, pray, love type deal. Get your mind around that. You got monkey forest. It's very jungle up there. So when I went up there, one thing that I had noticed was instead of bali dogs, even though there were bali dogs, there were also breeds. Like an actual breed. Think of a breed of a dog and it could be like a lassie dog. I don't know what kind of dogs those are called. You know, like a lassie dog. It could have been like a corgi. Could have been. Could have been something. But think of a breed. And it was homeless. It didn't have an owner. It was ratted up, it was tatted up. You know, a dog where it could have had, like, a beautiful coat, you know, when it's well taken care of, could have had, like, a beautiful coat. It doesn't, you know, it looks like it's, it's, it's just all beat up and scarred and all these things, and it's matted and, and it's scavenging for some food. This is an actual breed. And when you saw that dog, you knew only one thing, that some, some piece of shit came along and got riled up in emotion. Too much heart. And now I'm gonna separate the different types of heart. We're talking about. We're talking about emotional decisions. We're not talking about heart in a caring aspect, because it takes a heartless person to do something like this. Too much heart as in emotional decision. They saw this dog, they fell in love with it. No logical, no analytical, no. Nothing came into play. When they made the decision to take this dog. The logical and analytical would have been, wait, how long am I going to be in Bali for? And what happens if I leave Bali? What am I going to do with this dog? And you know what they do with it? They just get the dog because they're riled up on emotion. They're riled up on heart. And they get the dog. They have it for the time of being. And you know what they do when they're done with it? They just abandon it. They just set it out, leave it somewhere, drop it off and take off like that. That's what you see when you see this dog. And it's so, like I said, it is heartless. And that's not the kind of, it's not the kind of heart we're talking about. We're talking about people who make emotionally rational decisions. And there's just, it's, it's, it's a real terrible thing. And, like, even just, like, thinking about. I just hate it because I hated seeing those dogs because I love dogs. I love dogs to the moon and back. And I hated seeing them because that's exactly what you knew happened that somebody did. And people do it all the time, and it's just a terrible, terrible thing. Every Easter, okay, in the western world, what happens? People go out and they buy bunnies. You know, if there's. If there's a movie about a fish, let's say, what was that? Finding Nemo. Guess what happened? Everybody went out and bought a fish. Fish isn't so bad because they're fairly easy to take care of. But a lot of times animals can be bought because there's too much heart. And so there's not enough brain, analytical or analytical, analytical or logistical, to be able to come into play, to be able to say no. And so then what happens is these poor animals just get brought to the SPCA or whatever it is. They get abandoned. They get just. It's just. It's just a terrible experience. And so I love animals, and so, like, I just hate, hate when this kind of stuff happens. And so. So those are some examples of too much heart. That's the kind of heart that we're talking about. So we're going to start with too much heart, and then we're going to move on to too much brain, because I think that if you are too much heart, it's much easier to add some analytical and logical in there, as opposed to, if you're too much brain, it's much more difficult to add heart into there just because you're going to get hurt. And we're going to talk about that in a little bit. So when you are too much heart, the thing is that you want to do is that you want to add a barrier in between you and whatever. Let's say the decision may be. I remember back when I was in the military, I had ordered a car, and it was, I don't know, 60, $70,000 car or something like that, and all the features and everything that I had wanted. And so she calls me up, says, hey, nathan, just want to let you know your car came in. Okay. Did you want to take it for a test drive? And I stopped, and I said, can I call you back? She said, yeah. I said, okay. So I stopped. Okay. So the emotion, the emotional decision, the emotion, the heart was going. It's like, oh, my God, like, my car's in. You know, it's got. It's blue, it's got the rims. It's got this, that everything. And so. But I stopped myself, and I said, okay, wait. And I started asking myself questions. So I added a barrier in between me and the decision. And the barrier was, why am I buying this car? Why do I think I want to buy this car? Where did those ideas come from? Are they ideas that are actually my ideas, or are they just. Were they influenced by outside sources? And that's what you always have to think about, is when you're too much heart about to make a decision, add a barrier, ask yourself questions if you really have to. You can put down a piece of paper and say, pros of buying this, pros of doing this, cons of buying this, cons of doing this, whatever it is. But the idea is that you're slowing down and you are putting. Putting a barrier in between you and what you're doing. And so then you can actually break free from the emotion, think about it, and then go forward. So, for example, with my job, we talk a lot about fast brain and slow brain, and so fast brain is you're just doing things. You're just. You're just moving. You're coming. You're like, okay, I got to go here. I got to go there. Okay, I got to go here. Next. But what happens is, when you're running on fast brain is you can make mistakes. And in my job, when you make a mistake, you could die. And within the few years that I've been working this job, there have been, unfortunately, people who have. Who have died. And it's. It's. It's. It's terrible. At the end of. The end of the day, it's terrible. And so they always talk about and preach about slow brain, fast brain, because slow brain is stopping and thinking, okay, what is my next move? Where am I going? What are the steps that I have to take in order to make this success? And so, yes, we like to do a good job, but we also have to make sure that we're going to go home safely. And so fast brain and slow brain. And I'm the kind of person, I'm very competitive with myself, and I like to do a good job. I like to please people. And so I may be working in fast brain, sometimes a little bit too much, but I will notice times where I'm like, that's a fast brain, slow brain moment. And so there are. There are situations where I. It's not like I put myself in dangerous situations, but I I do recognize the. The fast brain and slow brain in myself, and I I tell myself, okay, I should make sure I remember slow brain in this aspect, like I said, it's not like I put myself in dangerous situations, and so I'm a very safe person. But that is the thing. That's. That's slow brain or fast brain. If you're. If you're just going with, uh, let's say fast brain, that's almost like too much heart in a way. And so you're not necessarily thinking it through. So if you're too much heart, you're in a situation, put a barrier in between you and the decision. Selling timeshare for a year in Bali, what it taught me is that never to make a decision on the moment, especially when it's a big 110 thousand to $25,000 us. That's what it taught me, most definitely. People come in, I'm like, girl, bro, bro, you're not going to get me, okay? I sold timeshare in Bali, okay? You're not going to get me. Like, so when you are too much heart and you catch yourself in a situation, I would highly recommend that you got to add a barrier in between you and it. Do not make a decision, okay? Just add a barrier in between it. Ask yourself, what am I doing? Do I. Why do I want to have kids? Why do I think I want to have kids? Why do I think I want to, you know, take this in school? Why do I think I want to leave this job? Why do I think I want to get into a relationship with this person? Why do I think, you know, you're thinking about all these different things and you're going through it? Because sometimes if we just run with the emotion. Here's another great example. I knew these two people, and they got into a relationship, and when you have the heart and you just let it run off on its own, it's like a fire burning out of control. Fire is good when it's burnt in control, but if it's burning out of control, I think they say a fire doubles every 8 seconds, doubles in size. So when it's burning out of control, it is just crazy. And so you want to be able to control the burn. So there's these two people. They got together. I know them. And when they got together, you could see that they were just letting the fire burn uncontrollably. And what happened is that they were on Facebook. They just, like, all the lovey dovey shit. I think I talked about this a few episodes ago, and just ev. Everything would just make you want to puke, make you want to vomit. You're just like, ugh. Like, you guys are just disgusting. Just, oh, sweetie, I love you so much. Oh, I thought about you just on, like, each other's Facebook and yada yada. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt because it lasted a lot longer than I thought it was going to. And then unfortunately, a kid became involved. And then shortly after that, the lovey dovey, all the sunshines and rainbows. Yeah, it didn't last. And so, and then all of a sudden, there's more to the story, more to the inn, which is actually pretty crazy. Um, but, uh, yeah, if you knew the whole situation and everything, it is just absolutely wild. And I always say because of the kids and all this stuff, that there's going to be a point in time. It's, it's going to be a funny story, but, uh, well, not, not funny, but, uh, yeah, basically, at the end of the day, the fire burned uncontrollably and things were said, things were done. And I'm sure that, uh, there's probably some regret in there. So that's, that's what we want to do, is we want to add a barrier now, like I said, we want to be able to control the burn. Okay? It's okay to let the fire burn. Okay? Because when you, when you let the fire burn, that is how you're gonna fall in love. That is how you are going to, you're gonna do cool things, you're gonna do amazing things. When you can control that fire, you can control that energy. So, for example, when people make music, that is them controlling the, the burn. And so rather than go on a, on a downward spiral out of control, they have a way of channeling that energy and turning it into music, into art, into paintings, into drawings, whatever it is, they have that way of channeling it. So you want to be able to control the burn. And so that is, that is what you want to do. When you are too much hard. Make sure you add a barrier. Make sure you start asking yourself questions and never make decisions just right out of the gate. And because you never know, right? Because a lot of times, like I said, we are thinking thoughts that aren't our thoughts. We are believing things that aren't our beliefs. And if you can understand this, then your life will change for the better. Because that's why corporations spend billions upon billions of dollars telling you that you are inadequate. And then you eventually start to think it, you start to believe it, and then all of a sudden, that's why you're buying things. Why do you think consumerism is such a such a thing. And they're teaching kids at a young age about consumerism. And if you just look at the toys they've got out there, it's crazy teaching them about kids, about consumerism. And so it's, it's absolutely wild what is happening out there. So if you can separate yourself with that, from that, from those messaging, then you, your, your life will be different. Your life will be better. I guarantee you that. 100% guarantee that. If you can separate yourself from the messaging, from the marketing. And a lot of the things is that the good marketing is making you think that it was your idea. If you've watched the movie inception, the idea of inception is basically to hijack somebody's mind and you're not telling them, hey, you should quit this company, you should start that company because you're going to do so much better over there. The idea is not to tell them that the plan and what they should do, what they're doing is they're going into your dreams, they're going into your mind so that they can then plant the idea, so that you then think that it was your idea and then you're going to go forward with it. And so that's basically that. Like, the idea of marketing, really good marketing, is that you're not buying this makeup because the company said, hey, you're ugly. You should go buy this makeup. You're buying the makeup because you've told yourself that you are inadequate and you believed that you are inadequate and that you need this makeup in order to feel confident, feel beautiful. And like I've said before, there's nothing wrong with makeup in this. But the thing is, is that, why are you buying it? Why are you putting this on? Why are you doing this? So as long as you kind of understand these things, then it's a different story. And like I said in other podcasts, I did make a whole podcast about makeup and girls and all these things. And the thing is, is that there's a difference. There's a difference. There's nothing wrong with makeup. So don't, don't put any words in my mouth. It's not what I'm saying. But we want to be able to ask ourselves these questions, why am I buying these things? Why am I, why do I, why am I believing these ideas? And a lot of times we'll realize that maybe a lot of these thoughts or these beliefs that are within us are not actually our own. And that's the idea of marketing. That's, that's how these corporations capitalize on you is by hijacking your mind, your thoughts, your beliefs, and, and all of these. And then once they can do that, then they can make you do anything. And of course, people don't want to say, like, well, I'm not influenced by marketing. I'm not influenced by advertising. You are. You are. We all are. It's a bombardment of, uh, our hijacking of our mind. It is just crazy. That's why these advertisements are everywhere. And so that's why corporations do spend billions of billions upon dollars on this stuff, because it is worthwhile. And that's why everybody, you look around, it's not hard to see. So that is, if you're too much heart and you want to add some analytical, some logical, you got to ask some questions, just stop, breathe a little bit, separate yourself from the situation, and then when you're ready, come back to it and then think it through. So let's talk a little bit about if you're too much brain. This one is a little bit closer to heart, closer to my heart, actually, because I am too much brain, and I'm definitely not where I used to be, but it's definitely been a journey, that's for sure. It hasn't been easy, and I think it's much harder to be able to add more heart than it is if you're too much heart and you need to add brain, because really, when you're too much brain, you just got to add some logical questioning in there, separate yourself. It's just, it's, it's, it's fairly, in my opinion, biased opinion. It's fairly easy. But when you're too much brain, you think a lot, you overthink a lot, you analyze a lot, you are way too logical, and now you're trying to add heart, some emotion in there. This is a foreign language to you, so it's much harder. It's much more difficult. And so what happens here is that a lot of times you're having to deal with people and situations that are with people, and because you overanalyze, you overthink, and all of these, and you're trying to add heart, you might be thinking, what am I supposed to do? What's the next step? What do I do in this situation? And when you make a decision, you're going to make the wrong decision. Nine times out of ten, you're going to make the wrong decision. It's going to suck. It's going to hurt the other person, it's going to hurt you, because you may realize after the fact, that you hurt that person and you're going to feel shitty about that. Maybe you lost a friend, maybe you lost something, but it's, it sucks. It most definitely sucks. That's. So that's why I say when you're, when you're too much brain, you're trying to add heart. It's much harder than if you are too much heart, you're trying to add brain. So if you're too much brain, you're trying to add heart. It's, it's a painful process, but however, it's, it's like a muscle, and the more you practice it, the more you, you work it, you're, you're going to get better at it. It's like a skill, and you will, you will get better, but it is very difficult depending on where you are in the too much brain aspect. So. Too much brain. Okay. Like, I'll give you an example for myself. I hate situations where somebody's in the hospital, not so much now. I still am uncomfortable in them. I'm not a huge fan of them, but I most definitely was. It just, I just did not like them at all. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. I didn't, like I would overanalyze everything. I'm like, what do I do? What do I say? Like, I just, I just don't know. And then you're coming, you're trying to figure it out and you're, you know, you're trying to plan and strategize. You're trying to do all these things right. And then all of a sudden what happens is you make a decision and then it's the wrong decision. And it just, it sucks because people are people.
[00:27:43] People expect you to do things. People, you know, they won't say it directly. You people will. People will lie to you. People will just, yeah, people. So you're having to deal with people. People aren't straightforward. If people were straightforward, it would be easy, much easier. But, but a lot of times, you know, there's just certain things, and I hate those types of situations. And I can think of a few on the top of my head where I over thought it. I was overanalytical and I was trying to figure out what the right answer was. And then they, in one of the situation, they said, oh, yeah, you can just do this. And I said, okay, cool, I'll do that. But typical woman doesn't mean what she says, right? And I took it as, as okay, I'll do that. And it was the wrong decision and I fucked up. And so that, uh, that was a learning lesson. And I. Yeah, it just. It sucks when you are too much brain and you're trying to add some heart and you're trying to practice that because in the beginning, you're really gonna fuck it up. You're just. It's just, it's the most awful experience. And I. I've made situations, I've made decisions where I have realized after the fact why it. That was a big deal, why they had reacted in the way that they did. And then after, where I realized that I was really hurt because I realized just how much I hurt them and I had no intention to hurt them. And I. I felt really bad for that. And I talked about that in another podcast as well. I can't remember there's another podcast. It's like, called, uh, sorry, ladies, but you're a piece of shit.
[00:29:15] And this, it's just, it's just, it's a really good podcast and talks about a lot of good things and. But you have to, once again, with a lot of the things that I talk about, you have to allow yourself to be open minded, because if you're not open minded, you're very close minded. You will react to what I'm saying, what I'm talking about, and that's. You're just gonna lose. You're just gonna lose. So, yeah, when you're. When you're too much brain and you're not enough heart, it is a painful process in order to try and learn this because you're. A lot of times having to deal with people, and people are people, you know, they are. They're. Some people are straightforward. Some people, like, people say things, you know, and they will say, hey, like, next time you're in town, call me, you know, and, yeah, like, yeah, don't worry about it, you know, it's okay. I got this one. Don't worry. I got it. Like, man, don't worry about it, man. Like, yeah, it's all right. I'll give you a ride. I'll give you a ride. It's okay. It's cool. No worries, man. You're like, oh, wow, people are so generous, but then all of a sudden it turns around and they're like, oh, remember that ride I gave you? Yeah. You're like, yeah, I thought that you were just being nice, but. Oh, okay. I didn't think that you were keeping a tally. Oh, oh, my bad. I thought. Okay, okay. So you're so you were keeping a tally. Okay. I thought you were just being kind. I didn't. Oh, I didn't know. Okay, I see. Okay. And then you learn from these things, right? People are people, and they just, they don't, they don't say what they mean. And I've had many situations where, where I know one guy that, uh, I had met, and there was just, like, this group of us, and, and I remember I had, uh, we would go to the coffee shop or whatever, and, like, he would always be there, like, yeah, no worries, man. I got this. I got this. Yeah, no worries. Like, and. But what he wanted me to do was to, like, push him out of the way, be like, no, I got this type deal. That's, that's what he wanted me to do. But he didn't say that. He wasn't direct about that. And what was interesting is that he actually let me borrow a bicycle one time because I was, I was in Australia, and so it was his son's bicycle. And I was just like, yeah, the bike broke. And I had, I was like, oh, I could have just fixed the one part, but there were a few things that could have been, that needed to be fixed. And I said, you know what? I'm going to just fix the bike. These guys let me borrow it. Unfortunately, it broke. Like, there's just a piece and it would have been cheap. So I gave my bank card to my, one of my friends, and I said, hey, can you go pick up these parts while I'm at work? She says, yes. She calls me up, she says, hey, these parts are going to be like, $300. Yeah, that's fine. Just buy them. So I got the parts and I put it all together, and then I, I'm like, here you go. Here's the bike. I fixed the part, but I also did this and I did that and I changed these. I did that and they're like, whoa, that's so cool. You know, super excited. The son was just, like, ecstatic about it. He loved it. I did that because I wanted to do, not because I had to. I did that because not, not because I was tallying or anything, and I was just, whatever. I did that just because that's, that's the kind of person that I am. And so turns out that I found out through my other friend, she had said that he was kind of making comments that I never buy him coffee, that he's always the one there with his hand, you know, pulling out his card. And I'm like, what? And I was just like, yeah, but, like, I. Because I don't keep tally of this shit. Like, I just try to be a good person because I'm a good person. I'm not a good person because, you know, I expect something in return. I'm just a good person because I'm a good person. Just what I like to do. Yeah, I could have just fixed this part. I could have just used a used part. I could have just bought a used part, but I bought all brand new parts, not because I needed to, but because I wanted to, because that's the kind of person that I am. And I didn't expect anything in return. I wasn't expecting, oh, he better buy me dinner tomorrow. No, it's because that's what I wanted. That's what I wanted to do. And it's just like, there you go. Because I had the ability and I had the, the, like, it's amazing to be able to do that. People always talk about, um, well, there's a guy who talks about, uh, a rich life. What is a rich life to you? And a big thing for me is, like, a rich life for me is being able to give to somebody because I can. I love that. Like, hey, I didn't have to do this, but I wanted to do it. And here you go. And so, but turns out, you know, he's thinking a certain way about me, and I'm talking to my friend, I'm like, okay, I, like, I hate to bring this up, but, like, I fucking paid, like, $300 for, like, those parts. Like, and he's bitching and complaining about a fucking five dollar coffee. I'm like, I'm sorry, but, like, like, I don't want to be the kind of person that I'm fucking like, you know, in a pissing contest between somebody else, well, I paid $300 for this, and you fucking bought me three coffees. Boo hoo. That's not the kind of person that I am, but apparently that's the kind of person that this person is. But what I'm, what I'm, the reason I'm talking about this is because when you're too much brain and you're not enough heart and you're trying to add heart, it's very complex, because this is just how people are, is that people aren't straightforward. People don't do things, and people, people come in with agendas and they, they just lie to you, they treat you like shit and they don't care, and they'll just stomp all over you. And so it's it's terrible. It really is. It is terrible. And especially when you're trying, you're trying to improve. You're trying to better yourself. And people will come along and they will just, they will treat you in such a way then and not even care and not even respect where you are, how far you've come, and you know the direction that you're going in. And so it's, it just sucks. So that's why I say when you're, you're too much brain and you're trying to add some heart, when you're dealing with people, it is very difficult because people are people, and a lot of times they can be shitty. So what can you do? What can you do? How can you add more, how can you add more heart into the mix if you are too much brain? Well, one of the things is that you want to try and be more open. And once again, this is, this is very difficult as well because you're not used to it. It's very uncomfortable for you. You don't know how to be open. Like, let's say if you're, you're really, like, awkward in social situations, everyone's kind of hanging out and they're like, oh, you know, and you've heard, like, okay, I'm supposed to be more open, and I'm supposed to let people in. I'm supposed to, okay, that's, that's, that's what I'm supposed to do. So everyone's kind of, like, hanging around, you know, talking about their day, like, yeah, I did this. Like, oh, yeah. So what's going on, John? Like, how you been? And you're just there and you're like, my dog died.
[00:35:16] And they're like, oh. Oh, shit, man. Like, oh, are you, are you okay? Like, oh, shit. You know, it's just like, the buzz just gets killed, you know? So, like, you, you don't know how to, how to do it, and you just, you, you're gonna, you're gonna fail like that, and it sucks. It's terrible. You're gonna, you're gonna be open a little bit too much with people, and it's, uh, it's, you don't know what's too much, what's too little. And there's just, like, a, it's such a learning curve, and it just sucks. And so you can, like, go online and you can, like, think of things. Like, for example, okay, so I had a friend who was in the hospital, and like I said, back in the day, I hated situations when I was in the hospital when, not me, but like, when people were in the hospital. And it's just, it was, once again, it was just an overthinking, over analytical type. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know how to do. It was just weird. So I literally went to Google and I said, are you supposed to buy a gift for someone who's in the hospital? And I read these blog posts and there's different things. They're like, don't buy, like a plant that's like, in a vase or something, like an actual plant plant. Because it could put on the idea that they're going to be there for a long time. And I always remembered that. And I bought them just like, these flowers. And I was like, here you go. And so, but that, that's what I did because I would overanalyze things. I would overthink. I'm like, I don't know how to act in these situations. I don't like these situations. They make me uncomfortable. I don't, I don't like them. And so I would go to Google and, you know, like, how can I do this? What am I supposed to do? How do I do this? How do I be more empathetic? How to, you know, and you can do this. You can watch a video. It's like, how do I be more empathetic? How do I, how do I share without making conversations awkward?
[00:36:59] And so you, you do these things and you learn these things and you're going to fail along the way and you're going to be open to people who won't respect it. You're going to be sharing with people who are not recognizing your, your journey, and they're going to treat you shitty. People are going to be people. They're going to be shitty, unfortunately, and they're going to hurt you. And the thing is that you, you've just got to keep on, keep on going. I'll tell you about a situation where in my journey of where I used to be, where I used to be is very closed off. I was a very closed off person. Nobody was in. Nobody was allowed in. I had my girlfriend at the time. Her dad would call me stone face. But one thing I was really good at is I was good at reading other people and I still am. And so, uh, to a degree. To a degree. Um, but, uh, we were playing a game and it had to deal with, like, emotion and reading people and all these different things. And I had won every time. And he was like, how does stone face here win every time. And I just. I just knew because I wouldn't show my cards. I wouldn't. I wouldn't show anything. You didn't know. You had no idea what was going on. Whereas now I'm definitely much more. I'm much more open. And I. Not. Not that I think, but I know it's because I am more of me. Back then, I wasn't me. I was actually a shell. I didn't know who I was. I was just kind of growing in that. In that perspective, and I became me. Like, when you speak to me today, like you're talking to me, I've created me. I've uncovered me. There was this stone, okay? And, you know, that. That picture of, like, chiseling the person out of the stone themselves, like, that's basically what I had done. And so I came. I have, you know, uncovering myself from the stone. And I've come a long way, and I'm really. I'm really proud of that. Like, really proud of where I've come from. And so if you are too much brain and you're trying to add heart, I just want to put it out to you that it's. It's a hard journey depending on where you are. If you're a lot of brain and you're trying to add heart, you're. It's very awkward. It's very. Oh, it's terrible you're having to deal with people, but it is a good. You can do it, is what I'll say, because a lot of myself, like, I've opened up myself to. To people and things and that I. That I had never before. And that's one thing that I would say is try and find people who you can open up to, you can share with. Unfortunately, it's very hard to do this because, like I said, people are people and they will treat you shitty. They won't recognize when you are open and you are sharing and you are giving them a piece of your heart, they won't recognize it and they will hurt you. But that has been a piece of me where I have people that I can go to and I can share. And that's part of, like, what this podcast is also about, is that this is my way of also being able to just kind of talk about the things that I talk about, talk about the things that I understand. And it's just. Just a way for me to get it out. And so when you have other people as well that you can turn to when you are sad, when you are hurt, when you are just done you. That's really good. And I hope that you can find that. And so if you are, if you are too much brain, I would say try and find those types of people. Maybe they're your family, maybe they are, you know, close friends, whoever it is, and find those people so that you can open up to. And sometimes you may actually have to choose these people. You may, you may choose someone, you may open up to them, but they may show you that they are not that person. And unfortunately, that sucks because you open up to them and they hurt you. So that is a big key that I would say. When you're trying to add a little bit more heart, you have that. You have that trust where you can be a little bit more of yourself. You can be a little bit awkward. You can be a little bit whatever it is, you have that person that you can trust and you can go to and so you can get there. And a big part of adding a little bit more heart to yourself is understanding who you are. Who are you? What do you like? What do you not like? What do you. What don't you, uh. What don't you like? One of my friends the other day, it was funny because she was talking about this fruit, and she said, you really, you'd really like this fruit. Like, it's, it's one of, like, the best fruits. I was like, okay, cool. And, and so she, she went into, like, this really, like, bougie, uh, dried fruit and nut store, and she's like, oh, remember that fruit I was telling you about? I got you some of it, but it's, it's, uh, I couldn't find, like, a fresh one, but I got you some dried one. You can try it that way. And I just kind of laughed. I'm like, I'm like, I hate dried fruit. It's the worst. It's terrible.
[00:41:33] And, like, she was all excited, you know, I just, like, snuffed out her flame, and she's just like, oh, okay. All right.
[00:41:41] And, uh. And then. But she gave me a piece anyway. She's like, you want to try it? I'm like, not really, but I will. And so I'm like, like, yeah, that's, that's definitely dried fruit. That is, uh. Yep. And then she's like, what do you think? I'm like, it's awful.
[00:41:56] And so what was another thing that, uh, um, there, there was another thing later on, and I had basically made a comment like that, and she's like, you know what I like about you? But at the same time, I don't like it about you is that at least you are straightforward. You know, a lot of people, they'll say, oh, no, it's really good. That's really good. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah, I really love that. That's, that's a. Yeah, it was amazing. I, um. Yeah, call me next time you're in town. Yeah, absolutely. Call me. Yeah, we'll get together. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get together. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:42:26] You know, that fucking bullshit that people say and just like, like, yeah, yeah, like, yeah, absolutely. You know, call me, you know, like, we can, we can, we can write letters and we can text and, you know, I'm always here for you, you know, and nobody, like, means that stuff. And you, you quickly learn. You quickly figure that out. You know, when you're, when you're a lot of brain, you're trying to add heart, you quickly figure out people and, yeah, it sucks. It sucks how, like, meaningless people, people use words, you know, they'll, they'll say just how amazing you are or whatever it is, and you're just like, you have no idea how meaningless those words are. Like, you. You are absolutely clueless to the fact as to just how, like, you say it, but you have no idea just how meaningless and nothing that they are, because actions speak louder than words. And you will actually learn that along your journey of, about people. And it's, uh, unfortunate. And that's. That's why, like, for myself, you know, I am straightforward in that aspect. I am very, uh, I've created this person. I've uncovered myself. I have, you know, chiseled myself out of this rock, and I'm not done yet. And you're, you're not ever done. You're always improving. You're always fine tuning, you're always polishing, you know, and, and there are some imperfections in there and, you know, you do the best with, with what you can do. But that's, that's the thing, is, it's a journey. And so there are people who will, who won't appreciate your journey, you know? Like, you're, you're like, hey, like, this is how much I've uncovered so far. And, like, I've done a really good job, like, in comparison as to where I was. And they just, like, look at it. They're like, yeah, it's cool. I don't care. And you're just like, wow, like, that sucks. And they'll just make you feel like a piece of shit, you know, just make you feel shitty. And here you are. You're. You're. You're very proud of what you've done, and, like. But if you. If you came to me and I saw your journey, I'd be like, man, that's awesome. Like, good for you. I love it. Absolutely love it. Keep going. You're doing fantastic. You know, like, I'm there to lift you up. I'm there to pick you up. I'm there to recognize that, how far you've come, and I can see how far you've come, and I love that. And that's why a lot of people do come to me for advice, and a lot of people do, like, talking to me because I do talk. I do listen to them. I listen to them and kind of help them figure out, you know, they're trying to figure out. I'm, like. I'm trying to chisel this part out, but I just can't quite figure it out. Like, yeah, you're gonna need a different, uh, you're gonna need a different chisel for that. Okay. You can see that the. The stone is actually kind of different there, so it's a bit of a harder rock. So that's why you're kind of having a little bit more struggle in there. But you're gonna have to use something different. And, like, what do I have to use? Like, I don't know. You have to figure that out. But just know that you're gonna need something a little bit different, maybe a little bit stronger, maybe a little bit powerful. You got to figure that out on your own as to what's going to work. And so. So, when you are out there, you're trying to add a little bit more heart. It, uh. It's definitely difficult. However, you do get better. You do get better. I'll tell you that right now. And the reason I'm spending a little bit more time on this because I had just. I connect with this one a little bit more, and so I know who I am. I know what I like, what I don't like. And if you can uncover who you are, that's going to help you open up a little bit more to people having a good understanding of who you are. And so that's. That's really, like, a big piece in there. I remember. I'll tell you. I tell you a moment that was very interesting to me. And I. Two years ago, I was. I went to Pender island, and I'm. I think. I think I talked about this in a podcast, but there's an island. It's Pender island, little tiny island. And so I went there, you know, COVID, and everything was happening and just absolutely ridiculous times. And I just wanted to escape from it all. I was just tired of everything. And so I went to this little island, booked this Airbnb. It was amazing. And I spent. I booked 40 days there. And I was basically on, like, my 30th day. Had ten days left. My friend calls me up and she says, hey, Nathan, Marley, her dog, she says, marley has cancer, and he. He's not doing very well. And he's. We're gonna put him down on Friday. And that Friday was actually Christmas Eve. And what was interesting is when she told me this, like, Pender island is like, I'm on a little island away from Vancouver. It's not far. Like, hop on a ferry and, like, you know, but I'm away. I'm. I'm doing my thing. And she tells me this. And I've known this dog forever. I've known this friend forever. We've been friends growing up, since high school. And Marley was 14 years old, his big bullmastiff mix. And we were. I loved that dog. I loved him so much. And when she. When she told me this, it was interesting, because my immediate reaction was, I said to her, I'll be there tomorrow. She was like, what? I said, I'll be there tomorrow. And that was pretty much all I said. And I like this moment because one, you know, thinking about Marley, like, how much I love that dog, kind of gets me a little bit sad. And it's been a few years since he's. He's been gone now, and. But, uh, there was a few things about this moment that really. That really, um, is special to me is that when she had told me that, the old version of me would have over thought, it would have been too analytical, would have been too logical, it would have just kind of not known what to say, been like, oh, um. Oh, no, uh, that's too bad. Um, and I would have said the wrong thing, but thinking about the dynamic of heart and brain, it was almost like heart pushed brain out of the way and said, don't worry, brain, I got this. Heart knew exactly what to say in that moment. Heart knew exactly what to do, and heart just pushed brain out of the way and took over. And so that's why that moment is actually very special to me, because I know who I am, I know where I've come from, and I know how I used to be. And that kind of just. It was just. It was automatic. There was no hesitation. It was just a. I've got this. You just take a seat, brain. We've got it from here. And so, um, I went back. I was at a coffee shop when. When she had told me, and so I quickly got back. I organized, you know, like, I was expecting to be here for the next ten days. And now I'm like, oh, geez. Change of plans. I call up the Airbnb person. I say, hey, change plans. I got to do this. And I'm, like, changing everything so that the next morning, I hop on the ferry, the next morning, bam, I'm out of there. And of course, Marley, my. My best friend in the world, um, I. I gotta bring him some food, right? I gotta bring him some food. I gotta bring him some treats. And that was one of the things she says, he hasn't been eating. He's not doing very well. He's got cancer. He's got tumors the size of freaking softballs. And he, um. Yeah, so, of course, I gotta bring him some snacks. You know, I always do. He knows that I always bring snacks. I bring something. And so I show up. I get there early in the morning. She's still sleeping. She's still in. Sleeping. Knock, knock, knock. There I am.
[00:49:19] She lets me in. And then, um, I see this little bugger, and he just. He perked up. And I gave him these liver treats. They were. And he's sitting there chomping them away, and she gets all bad. She's like, what? You haven't eaten anything all week. And you. He comes in and you're gonna eat the food.
[00:49:40] There's always, like, this, like, little bit of jealousy with. With Marley and me and her, because he was always. He was always different around me. I was just. Yeah. And sometimes we would kind of cuddle. He was never a cuddler. And sometimes we would kind of cuddle, and she'd look over at us, be like, you better not let him cuddle you like that, Marley. You never cuddle me like that. So. But it wouldn't last long. It'd just be like, I'll just. You know. And it wasn't like a full on cuddle. It was just like, kind of like a little half ass cuddle that you're just like, I got and you. It was just. It was just the world to me, you know, just to be able to do that. But it wouldn't last very long. It lasts, like, a minute. And then he's like, okay, I'm out of here. Like, there's enough of that fucking shit.
[00:50:27] Yeah. Just thinking about Marley. I just, I just love Marley. He is my favorite. And he actually perked up. He.
[00:50:34] She was kind of surprised. I was like, that's because it's because of love. You know, that's. That's love. That's what love can do. Love can change people. Love can, uh, bring people up. Love can lift people up. And that's why, um, uh, I've talked many times about, on this podcast about love and real love. Not none of this fake shit that you see out there. I'm talking about real, real fucking love where it just, like, it's so powerful and it's just, it's amazing and what it can do. And I. In my journey, I've learned a lot about love. There was a point in time where I, I didn't believe in love, but in my journey, I've learned a lot about love. I've experienced love. I have loved, I have been loved. I have experienced all these things. And I've learned the difference between real love, fake love, and the different types of love. And I've experienced it all. And, you know, you've been heartbroken from, from love and you have loved. And there's just all these kinds of things. And so I've really understood that. And that's why I say, you know, when you're a lot of brain and you, you are trying to get some heart in there, you're finding people to trust, you're, you're finding out who you are, what makes you, you. Uh, and in this journey, you know, you're. Hopefully you can, you can experience some love so you know what that feels like. Hopefully, if you do get hurt, it's not that bad. Hopefully it's not the kind of hurt that I've talked about before in this podcast. And hopefully it's more of a positive type hurt. There's different types of hurt, and there's certain types of hurt that I will take a million times over. And I wish I could take more of that kind of hurt because that means that that kind of hurt came from a type of love that I had, whether it's a romantic love or it's a just, just love in general. And so.
[00:52:15] But you learn a lot from these things. And I know I sure have. And so here I am with Marley, and he perked up because he was supposed to be put down Christmas Eve, and so I had come and he kind of perked up. And of course, you know, like, love can only do so much. It's not a miracle. And. But he had a few more days. He had a few more days. And, uh, we had one more Christmas with him. And then I think it was the 28th, two years ago and 28 December, and he wasn't walking. And, um, yeah, we brought him to the vat and we had to put him down, and so we had to say goodbye to, to my best friend. And that was, uh, that's really sad, but I'm, I'm glad that I got to, to be there. And I'm glad that that heart took over. In that moment. Heart pushed brain aside and said, don't worry, brain. I got this. You just relax. Don't overthink anything. Don't think anything at all. I got this. And heart took over, and I'm glad that he did because it just made that moment in time just so much better. And you, you get to have this memory for the rest of your life. Like, for example, like I said before, I have other moments in my life where I fucked up and I made the wrong decision. I over thought it, and there's all these things, and you have that bit of regret. You're just like, fuck, I just, I wish I never did that. I'm sorry I did that. You try to apologize. You just, it sucks. That's, that's one of the worst feelings ever. But that's those, those scars and those bruises and those, those things along the way of your journey of trying to bring in a little bit more heart. And that's why I say, if you're too much brain, you're trying to add heart. It's very difficult, and it's much easier if you're too much heart and you're just trying to add some brain. But when you have these kind of moments in your life, it's, it feels so good because I get to look at the back at that time, and I get to see that my journey with heart and brain, my journey has been on the rise, has been on the positive direction. And you get to keep this moment with you, this very special moment with you. And I get to look back, and like I said, that was two years ago. And I get to look back at that moment and, and just be, be looking at a few things of I'm glad I got to spend that time with him. I'm glad heart took over and knew exactly what to do, knew exactly what to say. And, you know, um, they went off on Christmas Day, they went off to a friend's house, and, but they needed somebody to stay with Marley. And I was like, you guys go. You guys go. Go have your dinner. Go be with your friends and stuff. Like, I'll stay with Marley. Don't worry. Spend the night. Do what you got to do. And don't worry, me and Marley, we're going to hang out. He's my boy. He's my boy. And so. But that's just what you did. That's just heart. Like I said, heart took over and just knew exactly what to do. And, like, um, whereas I know that the old me, the old analytical type person, would have just, like, over thought it and then just wouldn't. Would have made the wrong decision. At the end of the day, you would have made the wrong decision. And that is always just the. It just sucks. And, yeah, I. So we got to say goodbye to Marley, and he's, uh, he's amazing. Unfortunately, I wasn't there for another one of my beloved of my life who was Shelby, who is another dog who grew up with Marley. And I think she was about twelve to 14. I think. Actually, I think she was about 14. Now. My friend had told me just a few weeks ago that she had passed away. And he sent me a message that that, uh. Hey, just want to let you know that, uh, that, um, Shelby had passed away last night. She was at home. And, uh, I know how much you loved her. I did. I did. Every time I saw Shelby, she was just, she was like a pit bull lab mix. I don't really know, but she was just, she was an amazing dog. Nobody fucked with Shelby. It was kind of interesting, we always said, because a long time ago, she actually got hit by a train. Literally hit by a train. Um, luckily it wasn't, like, straight on. It kind of clipped her. And that was only because my friend literally jumped in front of the train to save her life. And I was speaking of Marley, I was actually walking with Marley to get him out of the way of the train. Like, come on, Marley, let's go. And so me and Marley were walking. We were camping. I was walking by the campsite. And so, um, I was just hanging out with Marley. Me and Marley were just like, you know, just in the moment with Marley. Totally forgot about the train that was coming. And then, uh, yeah, this was, like, twelve years ago, I think it was. But, uh, then all of a sudden, I kept hearing everybody calling for Shelby. I was like. And like I said, I was kind of, like, too lost in the moment. It's just me and Marley. But then I turn, I'm like, why is everybody calling Shelby? And I turn around and the train's like, right there. Like, it's coming. It's coming, like 30 miles an hour. And I looked down the track, and, uh, Shelby, because there's all the. The rock around train tracks. Dogs and animals don't like to run on the rock, so they'll run on the middle of the tracks, and that's exactly what she was doing. And she was running, and I was too far out of the way to be able to do anything. And I just saw her running down the middle of the tracks, and there's this train coming, and I couldn't believe what I was about to see. And then, um, my friend. He's one of my best friends to this day. We grew up with each other. He literally jumped in front of this train. Literally jumped in front of this train and. And grabbed Shelby. And just enough that she had actually got clipped by the train. It got thrown around, hit the ground, and then, um, she came, uh. She came running over to me. I. Like, I I could. I. Like, I I couldn't believe, like, what I saw, you know? She came running over to me. I was like, oh, my God, like, you. You thought that, like, she was about to die, and then all of a sudden, like, there she is. She comes running over to me, and then all of a sudden, there's like, uh. Like, you have no idea. You're like, what happened? Are you? And then all of a sudden, like, she starts bleeding. And I'm like, oh, no. And so, um, my friends, uh, grab her, hop in the truck, and they, like, it was a weekend. It was like a weekend Saturday or Sunday or something, they hop in the truck, and they just, like, race into town. And I stayed back to kind of, like, take care of the other dogs and everybody else, and. And, uh, you were just waiting, like, holy fuck. Like, what just happened? Like, how is she? And. And, uh, doctor looked at her, x rayed her and everything, and, uh, she was fine. He's like, we'll stitch her up. I I think. I think they just stitched her up. Uh, he's like, yeah, we'll just give her this. But it's no broken bones, no nothing.
[00:58:30] But, uh. Yeah, um. Shelby. We. We always said that Shelby. Nobody fucked with Shelby. She, like, nobody. Like, she was. She was the boss. Out of all of. Everybody, out of all the dogs, she was the boss. And we always said that it was because the other dogs knew.
[00:58:46] The other dogs knew that she got hit by a train, and because of that, nobody fucked with her. Like, dude, don't fuck with Shelby. Like, rumor has it she derailed a train. She sent it in the river.
[00:59:01] Yeah. So, unfortunately, Shelby passed away, and I wasn't there. And I loved seeing Shelby every. Every chance I got. And she would always get so excited whenever I'd come in, and I can still see her kind of, like, bouncing. She'd always have, like, this, like, bounce. And she. She was a very black dog, and she.
[00:59:21] I loved the way that she, like, would always stand. She'd always have, like, this presence about her. Like, she. She was the boss out of everybody. Nobody fucked with Shelby. Nobody did. And we always said that it was because the other dogs knew that she had gotten hit by a train. And the rumor was the train went in the river, and so the other dogs knew this. Nobody fucked with her. And, yeah, Marley unfortunately passed away. Shelby's now passed away. And unfortunately, you know, there will be a time. Probably not for a few years, but there is Roscoe. I love Roscoe. He's. He's amazing. And, yeah, I just absolutely love these dogs. And one time, I'll tell you a little. Little thing about Roscoe. I don't know. Um, we're talking about the dogs now. But, uh, Roscoe, I had. I was at a thrift store one time, and Roscoe's the type of dog. He's this big type of. I can't remember what you call it, but he's huge. But he's full of love, and he just loves seeing me. And there's this one photo that I have with him, and he's just looking up at me with just, like, this love in his eyes. Like, he just couldn't. He couldn't be in a better place in that moment. And I just love that photo. But, yeah, me and Roscoe, every time I get to see him, I just love it. So. But this one time, like, he's the. He's the type of dog that if you give him a toy, he will turn it into dust. He'll just shred it apart. Just turn it into dust. Doesn't matter. You can buy the strongest toy. You can buy whatever. He'll just turn it into dust. He just chewed the heck. So one time, I was at the thrift store, and I saw this toy. It was like a nerf football. And I was like, oh, I'm like, that'd be a cool toy to, like, play with, uh, play with the dogs. So I bought it. And then the next time I showed up and I saw Roscoe. Hey, Roscoe. I'm like, look what I got you. And I gave it to him. My friend had called me up one day or sent me a text message, whatever it was, and he says, you know, he takes that thing everywhere with him. He'll chew up everything else, but he loves that thing. Like, we go out, he'll go and grab it and he'll come out. He doesn't, he doesn't tear it apart. He doesn't, he's like, I've never seen it before. And, you know, it's just, once again, it's just like that, that, that love again and that pure love, that real love that he just loves so much. And I remember when he told me he's just like. Because I knew, I like, I know, Roscoe, that he will, he will tear things up. And here I gave him this gift and he just, he loved it so much and he took care of it. He just carried with him with it wherever he went. And unfortunately, one day I got lost and it was gone. But yeah, I love that story. I love that a thing about, about him. But that is, yeah, that's my little journey about the dogs and my journey of going from very analytical and logical with not as much heart, little heart, but going to a lot of heart. And even though that's why I like the podcast is because I can share these stories and you don't have people interrupting you, you don't have people who misinterpret you, who misunderstand you partway through and then, you know, make whatever judgment about you before you've even kind of like, expressed what you wanted to express. And so that's what I like about the podcast. And, you know, in a way, it's almost like anonymous as well, where I just share what I share. And whether you listen to it or you don't, it's completely up to you. And at the end of the day, I hope that you do learn something from it. Whether. Whether you learn something that you can take away for yourself or maybe you just learned something about me and I don't know, but at the end of the day, I just, I just share what I share and I hope that you get something out of it. Now this is a long ass frickin podcast. Done. The next thing I wanted to talk about was the dynamic of heart and brain in a relationship. So in a relationship, sometimes you might have someone who is more heartbreaking and someone who is more brain, but not always. It all depends on what you like, what you want out of a relationship. And sometimes you might like having all heart. You guys just have no brain.
[01:03:29] You guys have no brain, you know, you just. You just flowing, and if it works for you, then great. If it keeps you safe, keeps you, you know, out of trouble, fantastic. But it may be you like both people, to be having a lot of brain and no heart. I'm not saying heartless. I'm not saying you're heartless. Okay. Just the emotion aspect of it. And some people are like that. Some people do like that. I remember I met someone, and she was, she was, like exactly like me. Very analytical, very logical, and very. Yeah, I loved it. She was sexy. She was successful. She was just an amazing person all around, except she was just like me on the analytical and logical side, and I loved that. Don't get me wrong. We would have conversations like you wouldn't imagine, and it was like nothing I'd imagined before, nothing I've experienced before. However, what I learned from that is, even though I was attracted to her in a physical, sexual way, and even though I really enjoyed our analytical and logical conversations, between the two of us, there wasn't so much heart. And so it kind of felt flat. It kind of felt just, uh, like it was missing something. And so I didn't like that aspect. But one thing that was interesting is that, that I thought about is, what if we did get together at that time and I had evolved into who I am today? Because I think that was about ten years ago. I was close to ten years ago. And so what would that be like? Because if I was adding more heart, would I then add the more heart, and would I have enjoyed that, that. That, um, relationship a lot more? I'm not sure. Or would I want the other person to have more heart and me to have the heart that I bring, but then also have a lot of the brain that I bring as well? I'm not sure. And that's. That's the thing. You got to kind of figure that out. You got to play that game, you got to play that, uh, that music. And so it's, uh, it's tough. It's definitely tough to try and figure that balance out what it is for you. So what you want to know is, you want to know where you stand. Are you too much heart? Are you too much brain? Are you wanting to add a little bit of heart, add a little bit of brain to the mix? And then in your relationship type, what would you like? Do you want more brain? Do you want more heart? You want the same? Do you want different? What is it that you want? So, you try and figure this out, and everybody's different to give you an example of, like, heart and brain is when I was in Nepal, I was with my friend, and she was heart. So in the. In the dynamic, I was brain, she was heart. And I really like this dynamic. And so we. There was a situation where we were walking around kathmandu, and it was, like, Saturday or Sunday, because I remember the guy said it was his day off. So we're walking around, and this guy comes up to us and he says, hey, guys, how you doing? Like, yeah, just like, I'm not selling anything and I don't want any money. No, it's. It's my day off. And, you know, I just want. Like, I see you guys here and, you know, where you from? You know, I just want to show you around, show you some cool places. And right from the get go, I didn't like him. I didn't like him at all. My friend looks at me, says, hey, like, he says he doesn't want any money. Like. Like, maybe he can show us around. He wants to show us around. I was like, I don't know. Come on. I'm like, fine, whatever. Let's go. So we went with this guy, but the thing is that I kind of stayed back a little bit, and she was a little bit more engaged with him. She's like, oh, cool. Like, what is this? Like, where are we going now? You know? Like, she was like, she was heart. Remember how I said if. If heart just gets to run free, like, they're just bouncing and they're living, like, just life and they're just, in a certain way, their heart. Brain protects heart. So brain just kind of steps back, has an eye on heart, and brain will not allow heart to get hurt and will step in when it's needed. But brain is there to protect heart. And so we're going all around Kathmandu. Like, don't get me wrong. This guy was, like, showing us some really cool things that we never would have found down these little alleys and all these things, telling us the history of, like, this and that. And, you know, they had the earthquake a few years ago and showing us, like, this got damaged and, like, yada, yada, yada, right? It was really cool. But I still didn't like the guy. I just didn't like the guy. So we get. We spent, like, an hour with him or whatever, like, a bit of time, and he had reiterated a few times that he would. He didn't want any money. He's like, yeah, no worries, guys. I don't want any money. Anything. But then all of a sudden, here she comes. Why? And like I said, I was kind of saving back, just observing from afar. And then there was a point where she comes back. She's like, why do you gotta be a. Be an asshole? Like, I'm not an asshole. I just don't like the guy, okay, enjoy yourself. Please go do your thing, all right? Go have fun. She's like, fine, so don't worry, okay? I'm just. I'm just being cautious. I just don't like the guy. So then she. I can kind of see her walking back to me, but she's kind of, like, upset. And I'm like, hey, who hurt? Hurt? Like, come here. What happened? Did you hear that? I'm like, what? What was it? She says, he said he doesn't want any money, but he asked if we could buy his family food. And she was kind of, like, upset about this because here she was like, oh, he doesn't want any money. She's all excited, like, cool. Like, yeah, we got a new friend. He's showing us around. Like, you know, like that. That's just. That's just how heart is. But then all of a sudden, like, yeah, I don't want any money, but did you want to buy. Can you buy me, my family some food? Like, oh, but you. You said that. Oh, I thought we were. Oh, okay. Um. So she comes to me with this, and I was like, okay, hey, don't worry. I'll take care of this. So now this is where brain steps in. So this is the dynamic of heart and brain in a relationship. And I kind of like, don't worry, okay, I got this. I'm like, yo, what's going on here? It's like, yeah, yeah, I was just saying that, uh, you know, like, I don't want any money or anything, but it was just like, you know, like, if you wanted to buy my family food, like, that would. That would be cool. Cool, too, you know? And I'm like, oh, yeah. And maybe. Let me see. And so now heart is stepping back, you know, and brain is stepping forward, you know? And so he's like, yeah, it was just like, over here. And I'm like, where at? He's like, yeah, just right here, this store. I'm like, actually, I like that store over there. Can we go over there? He says, well, no, this is usually where, like, my family buys our food and stuff. And so I'd like to go here. And so it was. It was a bit of a red flag for me. I'm like, okay. I was just basically testing him. So I come in, and I'm like, all right, let me see what you got. And so brain, you know, has a different presence about him, and it's just kind of like. So I walk in and, like, show me. Says, yeah, you see? Like, here's this bag of rice. You know, this is this. You know, and this, too. He's kind of putting these things together, and they got the calculator out, and they're putting that in, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like, you got rice, you got this, you got noodles, you got this and this. I'm like, dude. I'm like, where are we right now? Are we in Canada? I'm like, because that's how much that's costing. That's what it would cost in my country. I'm like, that. That's, like, more than it would cost in my country. Oh, well, maybe, maybe. Maybe we don't need the rice. Maybe we don't need the rice. So he puts the rice away. I'm like, dude. I'm like, that is still more than what it would cost in my country. I'm like, what do you. What are you thinking here? Like, come on. Oh, well, you know, like, what do you think is a good price? I'm like, nah, man. If you're not going to be honest with me, I'm not going to be. I'm not going to help you, okay? I just don't appreciate that. Like, that literally costs more than what it would cost in my country. Oh, man. No, I'm sorry. So I'm like, no, you know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I can't. I can't. And he's like, oh, okay, okay, okay. I'm like, thank you for your time, but no, honestly, I don't appreciate this, okay? If you would have came to me, been a little bit more honest, okay. But this is clearly more than what it would cost in my own country, not in Nepal. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm out of here. And so I grab heart and I say, let's go, and we leave. She looks at me and says, thank you for dealing with that, so don't worry, okay? Don't worry. I got this. Nobody hurts heart, okay? Brain is there to protect heart. Brain loves heart, okay? Nobody hurts heart. If you think you're gonna hurt heart, you're gonna have to go through me first, all right? And so that is just the. A dynamic between how brain and heart can work in a relationship, because another person may be a little bit more heart, you may be a little bit more brain. And so that's one aspect as to how it can work in a relationship. Me personally, I like when there's a lot more heart on the other end because, because, um, they, because I am a lot of brain. And even though I do have a lot of heart as well, I do like the dynamic. I'm more naturally more brain. So when they are more naturally heart, I like the dynamic between that. But I can also, I can also, let's say, relate, resonate and understand because of what I know of my own heart. And so it's a good dynamic for me. It's what I enjoy, it's what I like. Now, there was, there was one more thing I wanted to talk about, is that I can see it on my brain. I just have to be able to, what I call, translate it into English. And what that is, is one of the things that you want to do when you're a lot of brain trying to add some heart is, like I said, you want to be open to people because a lot of times you're very overthinking, over analytical. You're trying to make the right decision, and most of the time you're going to make the wrong decision and it sucks. You're told that you should feel things more, more emotion, show more emotion. And you don't even know what these things mean. For myself, what happens a lot of times is I may feel some things, but I may not understand what it is that I'm feeling. I may be thinking some things, but I may not be understanding as to what those thoughts are just quite yet. I have to organize everything, organize my thoughts, organize my feelings and kind of bring it out. So with this friend who I was in Nepal with, there was, there was another time where I had, I think this was after that fact. Yeah, this was after that fact because that was one of the very first days. This was after the fact. We were actually on a bus. And so we had, like, this, this, this night before. It was really cool. We had, like, spent this time with these business owners and stuff. And we had met and it was super cool. But there was just something about, like, something had happened. And so I had kind of started feeling these certain feelings, thinking these thoughts. I was kind of hurt in a little bit of way just because of, like, how she was, what she was doing and just whatever. And so the next day, we were kind of, like, doing whatever. And she had noticed it. She had recognized it. She said, are you okay? So, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Don't worry. You just seem quiet. Yeah, yeah, I'm just. I think I'm just a little tired. Okay. And I kind of brush it off in, like, a, you know, the best way that I can.
[01:13:45] But the thing is, is that what I'm doing is I'm actually. I'm feeling some things, but I don't know what I'm feeling. And I have to feel them, I have to organize them, I have to understand them, and I don't know how to put them into words just quite yet. And so there we are. We hop on this bus. It's a big, long bus ride. And what I had then done is I'm thinking, thinking about it. I'm feeling it. I then took up my phone, and I started writing in a note. And what I was doing is I was just writing down how I was feeling. I was organizing my thoughts, organizing my feelings, and finally, like, putting it down, what I call is, like, translating it into English, and you try and organize it and everything. And so people always tell you to be vulnerable, to be open. And if you're a lot of brain and you're trying to add heart, that is one of the things that will help you, is to add a little bit more heart, is to be open with people, let people in, be vulnerable. But it. It is one of the most scary, scary things, and it sucks. And I'm gonna. Yeah. So. So, anyways, here I am, I'm writing all my feelings, thoughts, and everything down, and I have this big, long note. And I think there was even a time when she, like, kind of like, what are you writing? Like, oh, I'm just, you know, writing some ideas and stuff. And, you know, once again, I'm just kind of, like. I wouldn't say, like, bullshitting, but it's just I wasn't ready to tell her. And that that's just the thing. It was just because we were together in this, you know, traveling. Um, like, she was going to see. She was going to be seeing that I was going to be. That I was doing something. So it was kind of hard to hide that. It's not like I could go away and, you know, write my own thoughts and feelings down. So, anyways, I put these down, and I, like, read through it, and I didn't even know if I was going to give it to her. I had no idea. I was just like, I don't know. Because the thing is, is that when you give this to that person, it is the scariest thing because you don't know how they're going to react because you just opened up your feelings, you just opened up your heart and you're sharing that with them and you have no idea how they are going to react. And unfortunately, I'm sorry to say, but more often than not, you're going to not get the response that you were hoping for. You're going to get hurt when you do this. And it sucks. It's just the worst feeling ever. People suck sometimes. But there are good people in this world. They are few and far between, but this one is one of them, and this example is one of them. And like I said, this is a piece that I get to keep with me for the rest of my life and look back upon when people hurt me. When people are shitty, I get to think about this moment and this person and realize that, yes, there's a lot of shitty people in this world, but there are good people. And I got the honor to meet those people as few and far between as they are. I got the chance to meet them and I got to make a memory with them and I got to. I get to hold on to that for the rest of my life. So here I am. I just put down all my thoughts and feelings in this thing. I have no idea if I'm going to give this to him. All I know is I'm just. I got to get out what's inside of me and put it into this so that I can understand it. And then I don't know what to do after this. Do I give it to them? Do I not, do I just keep it? Do I continue on with my day? Like, I don't know. But after I read it and I said, that's exactly how I feel, that's exactly the thoughts that I am thinking. So I look over, I hand her my phone, I say, um, can you read that? And so she grabs it, and then she starts reading it. It's basically, and it's written in a way, it's kind of like I'm speaking to them. It's like a letter to them. I'm speaking to them, telling them how I feel, telling them how they made me feel, telling them the thoughts that I'm thinking, how I've been hurt, how it's made me feel, all those things. It's like I'm speaking to them and she's reading this. And I'll tell you one thing. From the moment that you hand, like, however it is, if you write it down in a letter, the moment you hand them. That letter, this feels like an eternity. Eternity. It is the worst because like I said, you have no idea how you're, what they are going to react like, and unfortunately, more oftentimes than not, you're not going to get the response that you were hoping for and you're going to be hurt. And in the time that you're waiting for them, it's just an eternity. And your heart is just wrenching and it's just, oh, it's such an awful feeling. And I'll tell you one thing, she could not have reacted in a more perfect way. Like, if, if you ever thought of this situation where you just opened up your heart, it's like you are coming to them and you're, you have a little piece of your heart in your hands and you're saying, hey, I, I want you to have this. I know it's not much right now, but to me it's a lot. And, um, I want you to have it. I'm trusting you and I want to show you that I'm trusting you. And I hope that. I hope that you take care of this and I hope that, that I can give you more after this because I want to. But for now, this is what I have for you and I hope that. I hope that you take care of it. That's basically what you're doing. You're opening up and it's such a scary place when you're waiting for their reply. You're like, oh, my God, you hate it. You start regretting. You're like, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that.
[01:18:47] Oh, no, what are they going to do? How are they going to react? I don't know. This is where that analytical, overthinking mind starts to come in. And she could not have replied and reacted in a more perfect way. If you do something like this and you think of how would I want somebody to react? And you think of the most perfect way someone could react, that's exactly how she reacted. So it's not to say that the words are that you wrote down are not important because they are important, but they play us a different part. So they are important. But for her, because she's a good listener, she's an amazing listener. I remember the conversations we would have and we talked about being a good listener in another podcast and not, there's not many good listeners in this world, unfortunately. It's terrible. But when you do meet one, it's amazing. A good listener takes this, sees and reads the words that you wrote down, but also knows that it's much deeper than the words that you wrote down. Even though the words are important. I'm not saying the words aren't important. I'm saying that the words are important, but they'll play a role. But what is also seen and shown is the bigger picture. And the bigger picture is that she recognized that I chose her, that I opened up to her, that I am in a very scary, vulnerable place right now, and I don't like it. I'm very uncomfortable showing her this side of me, showing her this piece of me. And she recognized that. That the amount of bravery that it took for me to do that, the amount of courage that it took for me to do that, she recognized that. And because she saw that, she knew and reacted that I've got. I don't worry. I appreciate this. I appreciate this action that you just took. And I'm going to cherish this. I'm going to love this. I'm going to hold on to this. I am going to.
[01:20:41] Don't be scared. Don't be afraid. Don't feel bad. Don't feel like you're weak. This is beautiful. And just kind of like, in your mind, it was grabbing you and holding you when you needed it the most.
[01:20:59] After that, you're like, all this weight on your shoulders. You're like, wow. Like, that's what it felt like in this moment. You're just scared, you're tense, you're unsure, you're overthinking, and you're just like, oh, God. And then all of a sudden, they're just like. They just kind of meta, meta metaphorically, they wrap their arms around you and let you know, like, it's okay. I'm taking care of you. Don't worry. And so, like I said, she couldn't have reacted in a more perfect way. Like, it just, she recognized that. She recognized how important that was, how big that was, how special that it was that I chose her. I trusted her. And she was going to take that little piece of my heart that I just. That I just was handing over. And she was going to take it and say, I'm going to take very special care of this. Don't worry. Nothing's ever going to happen to this. This, this is a small piece of your heart. But I also know how big of an action you needed to take in order to just give me this little piece. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna cherish this. This is. I hope that I get more of this. Where this came from, that's basically what she had said. And so that's, that's basically what you want in those moments. And so it was just, it's so, so cool to, to be able to meet somebody like that, that when you open up to them and you share with them and you allow them in, you say, hey, look, I trust you enough and I want to be open with you. And they recognize just how special that is and they cherish that. And this person actually, like, even though we're continents away, we, we, we're still in contact today. She's off living her life and we're going to talk about, I'm going to talk about that story a little bit more in depth. And I keep saying that, but I'm going to, I promise you, because here's why I want to share that story. One, because there's a lot that you will learn from it, you will get from it. And there is also a lot that the longer I wait, the more things, unfortunately, I will forget about that story. And that's sad. That's sad that I will forget pieces of that story. And so I want to make sure that I put it out so that you can get something out of it so that I can cherish that again. And, like, that happened, what, eight years ago or something crazy, I can't remember, but they're off living their life and will keep in contact once in a while. And I'm going to talk about that a little bit more. I'm going to have its own podcast about the story in general, but I'm also going to have another podcast coming up that we're going to talk about connections and what it means, what is a real connection. And this why this connection was so special and this why I learned so much from this. And so, uh, so, yeah, that, uh, that, that is when you're, when you're a lot of brain, you're trying to add heart, and here you are, you're trying to gather your thoughts and your feelings and your emotions, and you do, and you give that to somebody. Unfortunately, you're not going to get, most of the time, the reaction that you're hoping for. I know I certainly haven't, and that sucks. But I want to reiterate, I want to reassure you that there are good people in this world. Unfortunately, they are few and far between. There are people who may claim that they're good people, but they will, they're a wolf in sheep's clothing. Unfortunately. They will hurt you. They will get your trust, they will get your love. They will get all the stuff that they need from you, and then they will then be on their way. And that's. That's tough. That is extremely tough. And so I hope that never happens to you. I know. It sure has happened to me, and it's. It sucks. Yeah, it definitely sucks. But I know that there's good people, and I have this moment in my life where that's one thing that you wanted to be able to do, is to have somebody that you can open up to, you can share this with and this person. Like, yeah, like I said, we'll be in contact once in a while, just, you know, say happy birthday and, you know, see how each other are and just let them know. Like, I thought about you today, and I just want to let you know that I hope you're well. And so that is another aspect. When you're trying to add some more heart, you want to have people like that. And I hope that you can find people like that. And I hope that when you do choose somebody to be open with and you do choose somebody to trust with and you share with them how you feel and you share with them how all of those things, I hope that they recognize that, how special that is for you, how much it took from you in order to do that, in order to. To be at that point. And I hope that they cherish that. And so, so that you can experience that, because nothing's worse than doing that and being in that vulnerable state, and then all of a sudden, somebody just reacting in such a way, or maybe they don't react. That's also another thing, too. I don't know what's worse, if they react or if they don't react, I don't know what's worse, because then you're kind of like, oh, okay, all right, then I guess I'll be on my way then, huh? Kind of wish I never did that. Ouch. All right, so, yeah, I don't know what would be worse for them to react or not react. So, anyways, I hope that you do find somebody who does react in the most perfect way. They are out there, and I've said it many times, like, if somebody comes to you and opens up, cherish that. Cherish that. Like, hold that. That is so special. When people come to me about things and. And they share things with me, it's not the words that they're telling me, it's the action that they're doing. They're trusting me. They're coming to me with this. They're pouring their heart out to me. And the action of that, if I turn around and I'm just like, wow. Like, that's what you thought? Like, wow, man, get a life, you know, like, but I'm recognizing the action that they are taking. I'm not just listening to the words that they're saying, but I'm recognizing so much on a much deeper level and seeing how special that is. Once again, that comes to being a good listener and being a good person. And that is why a lot of people do come to me with those things, and people will share things with me that I'm just like, wow. That is, uh. Wow. I feel honored that you chose me to. To share that with, like, very much so, like, thank you very much. And I'm so glad that I get to be that person that you get to share that with. Out of 8 billion people in the world, you've come to me, and that means the world to me. And I try to make sure that I, you know, I care. I care about that, and I show them that I care. So long, podcast talked about a lot. Like I said, I want to spend a little bit more time on brain and heart because I think it's a lot harder when you are a lot of brain and you're trying to add heart. It is just difficult. And it's. It's. It's hard, but it can be better, and it will get better. You just have to practice. You're gonna fail. You're gonna suck. People are gonna be people, and they're gonna shit on you. They're gonna treat you like shit. They're gonna treat you like garbage. They're. They're gonna come in, they're gonna break your heart. They're gonna, you know, they're just gonna be people, okay? And it's terrible. It is terrible. And I'm sorry. I hope that, um, if you do have that and you do need somebody to actually talk to you, somebody who's actually going to listen to you, somebody who's actually going to cherish that, somebody who's actually going to, you know, try to understand you. You can always come to me, and I do my best. I do my best to understand. I do my best to listen. I do my best to not form judgments or opinions about you. I do my best to try and. Try and understand to the best of my knowledge, because, for example, let's say so many people are reactive, okay? Let's say wife cheats on husband. It's terrible, right? But it's very difficult. It's easy to react up that. Get angry, get mad. You want to kill this person. How dare they? You know, whether it's the, the guy she cheated with or whatever it is, or maybe you get mad at her or it's a lot harder, but a lot more, um, what's that word? It's a lot more. It's going to be a lot better for you to kind of understand, to stop and understand and say, okay, why did this happen? And of course, this is an extreme example, but it happens all the time, every day. You know, somebody's out there cheating right now. And the thing is, is that if you can understand and say, why did this happen? Maybe, maybe you come to a realization that, yeah, you've been spending a lot of time at work, you've been neglecting her, you've been doing all these other things, and, you know, you come to the point of like, hey, look, I took some time, and it's really hurt, hurtful, and I'm really hurt that you did such a thing, but I know that you did it because of multitude of reasons. You didn't do it because you didn't love me. You didn't do it because you were vindictive. You didn't do it for whatever those reasons are. You did it because I have not been loving you. I have not been showing you that I love you. I have not been present with you. I have not been all of these things with you. And when I add all these things up, I look at it and I say, I'm not surprised she cheated. And if this is the first time, I'd be surprised that it's taken this long, because I've been neglecting her for a long time now. That is, that, that's an extreme example, and that's a very difficult place to get to. But when you become an understanding type person and you like, you can get to a point like that. Like, if you love this person, if you, you like. That's why I've talked about love and real love and real relationships. None of this fake shit that you see out there. I'm talking about real fucking shit. People love the fake stuff, the, the fake stuff, the, the surface level kind of stuff, but not me. I like to like the, the deep inner workings of things. You want to fall in love? Fall in real love. Okay. You want a relationship? Get into a real relationship. You want to get married? Get married for all the right reasons. Have a real marriage. Okay. You say your vows. You mean your vows. Okay. And. Yeah, and I think that there are points that you, in a real relationship in, in these types of situations, you can get to points of understanding of saying, hey, this is my person who I love and I, you did an action that is very hurtful, but I want to try and understand why that action was taken. And maybe you might understand that they are just a terrible person. And then when, after you understand that, you're like, okay, well, I've tried to understand it. I was willing to give you benefit of the doubt, but you're just a terrible person at the end of the day and that's not a person that I want a part of my life. So goodbye. But if you understand them and you understand why this action had been taken and you understand all these different aspects to, to it, you may also find out that you are part of the reason as to why this action had been done. And that's a hard pill to swallow. Extreme example, yes, but a very realistic example as well. I hope that you can get somewhere in your relationship like that. Well, I hope it doesn't have to. But what I'm saying is that I hope that you are on such a beautiful level of a relationship with your person that you have that kind of understanding, that willing to understand that willingness to understand because you love them. You truly love them. It's real love. It's not fake love. You're, you're, you're wanting to understand them. You're wanting to fix whatever was done that caused the situation. And it doesn't have to be cheating. It could be anything, you know, whatever it is. But anyways, this is a long podcast. Oh, if you listen to this, let me know. If you listen to this whole entire thing, let me know. I'd love to know. It's just, that's, that's all. Like, if you just say, hey, I listened to your latest podcast and I just wanted to let you know that I listened to the whole entire thing. I don't agree with you with anything that you fucking talk about, but I listened to the whole thing. And so, uh, that, that's because they're long. They're super long. This one's outrageously long. So now I gotta export this, do all the stuff to it, upload it, yada, yada, yada. And that's why I don't post a lot to it because, yeah, but at the end of the day, I do it more so for myself, just so that I can, just so that I can take what is inside of me and bring it out, translate it into English and if you get something from that, then. Fantastic. I hope you do. And so, like I said, in the future, you send me an email and say, nathan, I used to be all brain, no heart. You should see me now. I'm with the love of my life. I got four kids. I love being open with people. I love sharing my life. I love sharing my feelings and emotions. It's amazing. And it's all because I listen to dear podcast. That's the dream. That's the hope. Anyways, unplugged freedom. Unpluggedfreedom.com, unpluggedfreedom on Instagram. Unplugged freedom on Facebook. But anyways, I'll talk to you soon. Thanks, guys.
